Dale Mabry – Tampa – Saturday, 1.19.2019
“Spunkies” will officially become the first strip club pawn-shop combination in Tampa history when it’s doors open for business next Monday.
A common issue strip clubs face is when the patron runs out of money. So now, instead of them leaving, they can pawn off their valuables instantaneously while getting a lap dance.
“Wedding rings, dog collars, Gucci belts, I’ve seen it all” says Tiffanina, day-shift dancer at Spunkies. “Not too many people come under this bridge to check out our little club, but once you get past the 6 miles of truck depots and RV rental centers, here lies a little slice of paradise. All to yourself.” She starts touching my thigh.
“I knew it was only a matter of time,” Says Grenaldo, a transexual man wearing a police uniform who is also the manager of Spunkies. “We live in the future now, everything is being ‘synergized’ or however you say it,” as he smacks his fingers together in the air. “We’re streamlining a process that’s been outdated for so long. It’s F***ing stupid!”
A customer stands on the corner, outside the venue. “Come here.” He motions us over. “I heard they’re thinking of adding a drive-through to Spunkies,” he says. “But you didn’t hear it from me.” He sits down in the grass and motions us to sit with him as he pulls a broken light bulb from his pocket. “I heard they’re going to let you just pull up to a garage-style bay soon, and ladies will just get in your front seat and grind on you for 1 song and you’ll pay like 10 dollars and leave.” He lights the bottom of the light-bulb and it fills with some deep white smoke he quickly, happily, inhales. “I heard one day, Spunkies is going to have a room, where ladies will straight up blow you…” He leans back. “…nah, even that’s too crazy for me to believe.” He laughs as he passes me the light-bulb, I shotgun a hit.
Spunkies hours of operation are Monday-Sunday: Always