Bro Bowl – Tampa – Wednesday, 1.30.2019

Two young-adults, got into a physical altercation at the world-famous, Bro Bowl skate-park, by Downtown Tampa. “I’ll tell you what happened,” says a boy with red dreadlocks. He motions me to come towards him, however his friend puts me in a headlock from behind which I barely get out of.

“You want a Hurtz Donut?” Says another boy. “I do,” I replied. Then he punched me and said “Hurts, Don’t it!” In a way where “Don’t it” sounds like “Donut.”

Circle thing with the hand.

A shirtless boy does a laser flip in front of me flawlessly then flicks me off as I continue to ask questions. “I got the answer for you right here!” Says a boy with hair tucked into his shoes. However, when I look down he’s doing the circle trick with his hands, then he punch-slaps me very hard on the back of the neck and says “two for lookin’!”

I begin to shout from the center of the skate park at all the children as they taunt me and circle me. “What happened here!” I scream. They laugh louder. A small boy is able to somehow pull my shoes off my feet without my knowing then throws them up on the power lines near by. 

Suddenly a teen rolls up the vert ramp and does a bar-spin, but makes eye-contact with me before he touches back down on the ramp and winks. “Nothing happened man. Who cares?” That’s when it hit me. It doesn’t. I don’t need to be covering child skirmishes with my time. I’m a reporter! I went to school for this!

Immediately the children get silent then look up at the sky and point to what appears to be a glowing disc. “The leader has returned.” The disc gains depth and reveals itself as some sort of space craft. A tall purple thing tumbles down a steel ramp. He’s got wheels on his feet. His hands grow speakers and he begins raising the roof while Rick Ross plays from his speaker-hands. A siren-like noise screeches from the spot you’d assume is his mouth, and the children cover their ears and quickly duck. 

I fall to my back and begin screaming and covering my ears trying to escape the wicked noise. “Wake up! Wake up!” A boy is shaking me violently, as the mist begins to clear and I’m laying in a field next to the Bro Bowl. “That wasn’t spice, that was salvia!”

Amid my investigative journalism I forgot I had tried to gain the children’s trust by smoking what appeared to be a spliff, but turned out to be salvia mixed with heroin. 
“We trust you, you’re cool man, you’re f***ing crazy man!” They pat me on the back as I sit up and gain my composure. “Well I’ll tell you what happened. Richard hit Lyle then Lyle went home.” 

Richard and Lyle got into a fight at the skate park

I got the story. Victory was mine. In a time when I thought all hope was lost, the prize I so longed for was finally achieved. The news had been covered.

For any tips on local activities you’d like to be covered, please don’t. We’re fine.

John Jacobs, Tampa News Force Senior Correspondent
Tampa News Force Senior Correspondent

John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds

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