Posts by Chingy Lopez
Best Views and Sounds of Tampa Bay
Tampa is home to some of the world’s best views and noises So today we are counting down the top sights and sounds in Tampa Bay 5. Downtown/Ybor City Trolley Hearing the dinging of a trolley bell will let you know you’re on your way to fun town 4. Ybor City Chickens The wild chickens…
Read MoreTampa Bay Named Best Sports City in the World
Tampa Bay has become a sports mecca, with teams that are really good at winning games when no fans are in attendance. So today, we are counting down why Tampa Bay Is The Greatest Sports City in the World 5. The Pitchers These sports players are throwing baseballs really fast and sometimes, they aren’t allowed to…
Read MoreTom Brady Tests Positive
“We just received Tom’s test results,” said Dr. Dilgore Robinson, who was waving a clipboard in the air revealing the test results.
Read MoreNéstle Releases New Contaminated Glass and Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pockets
Nestlé Prepared Foods unveiled a new Hot Pocket flavor today at a maskless Gala ceremony in Weeki Wachee, FL. “We are proud to announce that our incredible team over at Hot Pockets really outdid themselves this time,” said Néstle President Skanky Kong. “For years we have wondered, how do we get our customers to remember us…
Read MoreTrump Set to Pardon Joe Exotic During Final Day in Office
After much deliberation from President Trump’s team during its final hours in power, a final list of pardons has been released and includes many familiar names. “We want everyone to know that we take these issues very seriously and everyone that is being released today, we feel has served their sentence for the crimes they…
Read MoreEvery Street in America to be Temporarily Named after Martin Luther King Jr. for 24 Hours
To commemorate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., every single street in America will temporarily be named after the civil rights activist for the next 24-hours. “We must recognize the great sacrifices that were made and the people who helped our country progress forward in meaningful ways,” said historian and well-intentioned social scientist, Prence Michaels. “Unfortunately…
Read MoreNRSC Selects Rick Scott to Make US Senate More Racist
After Republicans lost the US Senate majority, the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) selected Florida Senator and Slender Man impersonator, Rick Scott, as their new Chairman. “As you may have heard, I have just now taken over as the Chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee,” said Scott in a video message he released on…
Read MoreDuke Energy builds Solar Panel Field in the Shape of Bottle of Olde English 800
As part of a new partnership deal with malt liquor manufacturer Miller Brewing Company, Duke Energy has completed construction on a solar field shaped like a 32 oz bottle of Olde English 800. “This solar field will usher in a new era of carbon-neutral energy production,” said lead solar panel installer for Duke Energy, Sophegs…
Read MoreCold Front Leaves Tampa Man Paralyzed in Middle of Street
While many around the Tampa Bay area celebrated today’s chilly weather, Saxy Raffleson was left crippled and fighting for his life while trying to cross Nebraska Avenue. “I was crossing the street and then this guy dressed in a blue full-body suit came up behind me and hit me in my lower back with a…
Read MoreSecond Mysterious Monolith Discovered in Tampa Greyhound Track Parking Lot
In what many are calling a sign of the upcoming apocalypse, Tampa Government officials announced that they have discovered a mysterious metal monolith in the parking lot of the Tampa Greyhound Track (TGT). “We thought this place had been abandoned for decades,” said Dyerhea Juice, senior aerial survey crew member for the Tampa Government. “During…
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