Posts by Josh Santos
Dog Friendly Gay Bar Bans Pit Bulls
Well, this a twist on the ol’ discrimination game.
Read MoreNew College Unveils Conservative Arts Major
Is this the future of education in Florida? đź“š
Read MoreMarco Rubio Top Disseminator of Gay Erotica
In an attempt to shame a group of people for being recognized by the LA Dodgers, Marco Rubio has accidentally become the top disseminator of gay erotica on social media. “It’s disgusting seeing what the MLB glorifies these days,” said Florida Senator, Marco Rubio. “Someone sent me the full performance of these mostly naked guys…
Read MorePolice Now Monitoring Every Bathroom in Florida
To comply with the new rules regarding trans people using bathrooms that don’t match the gender they were assigned at birth, the State of Florida will now be tasked with monitoring every public bathroom to stop law breakers. “We are trying to protect the citizens of Florida from people who are sick in the head,”…
Read MoreFlorida Announces Free Trans Youth Summer Camp
As part of the new Parental Rights Act, the Florida Legislature celebrated the opening of a special campground for trans children. “This new program is going to help us finally eradicate the woke plague that is infecting the TikTok youth,” said Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis. Students in the Florida public school system will be subject…
Read MoreGunn Highway Rebranded as Machine Gun Highway
Following the beautification of Tampa’s most well-driven road, Gunn Highway will soon be rebranded Machine Gun Highway. “We want to keep the spirit of the original name, but commemorate someone more famous,” said Steve Odyssa, the Mayor of Odessa. “This isn’t an official title, no one elected me to this position, I tell people I’m…
Read MoreEvery Taylor Swift Wardrobe Malfunction Ranked
Tampa News Force’s newest owner, Taylor Swift, is known for being very wholesome and only doing nasty stuff for people she is romantically involved with. So today, we are counting down the best times her wardrobe didn’t comply with her. 5. Early Elbow Reveal Taylor Swift is known for never showing her elbows, a part…
Read MoreBody Modification Artist Pierces Himself to Car, Dies in Road Rage Accident
Regionally recognized body modification artist, Jeal Layone, sadly passed away today during an altercation on US19 while pierced to the hood of a 1996 Plymouth Breeze. “It was always a dream of his to pierce daddy’s car to his nutsack,” said Leslie Layone, Jeal’s younger sister and assistant. “I tried to tell him it was…
Read MoreTaylor Swift Fires Jane Castor After Accepting Mayorship
In a stunning turn of events, the newly appointed Mayor for the City of Tampa has fired the democratically elected mayor. “When I asked Taylor Swift to be our mayor for a day, I thought it would a fun photoshoot opportunity,” said Castor as she cleaned out her desk. “The last thing I expected was…
Read MoreGreatest Places in Tampa
TIME magazine has declared Tampa as one of the World’s Greatest Places, so today we are counting down what makes Tampa so great. 5. I-275 This highway connects Tampa to all of the greatest places. Every exit on I-275 is an adventure into a magical world in one of the greatest places on Earth. 4.…
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