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Bucs destroy Detroit, clinch playoff berth

Bucs beat Lions

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the Detroit Lions 47-7 Saturday afternoon to secure a spot in the 2020 NFL Playoffs, their first postseason berth since 2007.

Quarterback Tom Brady had one of his best games this season, going 22-for-27 with 348 yards and four touchdown passes. Well, that’s what he had in the first half, at which point the Bucs were leading 34-0 and the game had been effectively over for about a half hour because the Detroit Lions are less a professional football team than a collection of semi-sentient trash bags.

Blaine Gabbert entered the game at the start of the second half in relief of Brady, immediately going 2-for-2 with 30 yards and touchdown pass.

Wait, we have Blaine Gabbert? Huh.

During the 12 years the Buccaneers went without competing in the playoffs, the following things happened:

  • The Rays made the playoffs five times and won two American League pennants.
  • Barack Obama was elected President of the United States twice.
  • The Lightning made the playoffs seven times, won two Eastern Conference championships and one Stanley Cup.
  • Rick Scott retired from committing Medicaid fraud and was elected Governor of Florida twice.
  • The Bucs spent six of those years wearing the worst uniforms in the NFL.
  • Jane Castor went from cop to chief of police to Tampa’s mayor.
  • Flint, Michigan started producing water that was actually somehow worse than Detroit Lions football.

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54