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White couple in Tampa Heights loves their African-themed bedding
Todd Ginfey and his live-in girlfriend Rachel Bloorb recently purchased the African American Pretty Girl Duvet Cover Set Queen Size, 3-Piece Bedding Set with Zipper Closure and Corner Ties from Amazon.com for their loft in Tampa Heights. “I gotta say, this ethnic blanket really helps me sleep better,” said Todd. “Because my conscience is clearer.”…
Read More717 Parking owner spotted trying to topple Jackson House
Eye witnesses are claiming that Jason Accardi, President and CEO of 717 Parking Services Inc., was recently seen trying to knock over the historic Jackson Rooming House in downtown Tampa by leaning against it, a charge he vehemently denies. “Yeah man, he was pushing hard against it and grunting, ‘Come! On!’”said Jasper Heaves, one of…
Read MoreMar-a-Lago resident gets along with all of her neighbors… except one
Gladys Narkwerk, a long-time resident of Mar-a-Largo, the exclusive resort community in Palm Beach County, says it’s a great place to live and that she loves the neighbors she shares it with, with one notable exception. “There’s this one man, I believe he used to work in television or something, I can’t say I care…
Read MoreHunting licenses issued to thin invasive realtor herd
For the first time in history, the State of Florida has begun issuing hunting licenses for people to hunt down and kill realtors. “About damn time,” said Harold Kinter of Tampa. “I’ve been shooting at these varmints for years. Now I can do it without worrying about getting in trouble.” The increase over the last…
Read MoreTampa Police donate guns to Amish
Following a successful Gun Buy Back event, the Tampa Police Department announced that they will be donating all the weapons they collected to the Amish community down in Sarasota. “Don’t think of it as us taking guns off the streets; we’re just putting them on streets that are traveled by horse-drawn buggies instead of cars,”…
Read MoreTop 10 places in Tampa to bust a nut
Nut Cracker Factory The Nut Cracker Factory on Westhore and Himes boulevard offers patrons the opportunity to crack as many nuts as their hearts desire for only $9.99. You can bring your own nuts, or for varying prices you can purchase nuts at the facility Bayfront Park Bayfront Park down Nutnut Cove Parkway is home…
Read MoreFlorida now most expensive state to get a happy ending
With the rise of rent here in Florida, the everyday worker’s has gone up as well. While this has hit every industry from food service to pharmacists, the biggest drain on our wallets has to be happy endings after a massage. The cost of a happy ending used to be somewhere around $80 here in…
Read MoreFlorida life hacks
Living in Florida comes with a unique set of circumstances that can weigh on your day-to-day life. With this list of life hacks, you can navigate Florida life, just a little bit easier Keep a bucket of ice in your car If you keep a large metal bucket of ice in your car at all…
Read MoreFamily can’t get into Tampa Bay Area drag shows
A family from Brandon is very upset that they’re not being allowed to attend the raunchiest, late night drag shows in the Tampa Bay Area. “This has got to be a violation of our rights or something,” said Mike Turd, the family’s patriarch. “Yes, that’s correct; our last name is Turd, which is totally a…
Read MoreTampa prostitute wins TIME’s Person of the Year
A Tampa prostitute named Merth has won TIME magazine’s Person of the Year title, after a unique story which has led to Tampa becoming one of the most popular places in the country. Her story began at the Sunoco gas station on the corner of Columbus and Nebraska Ave. “A man in a pick up…
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