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St. Pete woman dating Leo!

Hollywood super duper star Leonardo DiCaprio, stung by recent criticism of his tendency to date much younger women, has found himself a new boo thang in 87-year-old Estelle Gardenschwartz of St. Petersburg! “Yeah, I’m sick of all that shit,” he said. “So this ought to shut people up.” “Because this chick is old!” he added…

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Local film to get dark-and-gritty reboot

Plane Train Reboot

“Plane Train,” the beloved 2018 film produced by Tampa News that was featured at the Dunedin International Film Festival, is being rebooted by Warner Brothers Studios with a different, more violent storyline and different, more violent movie stars. “It’s time,” said James Cameron, the director attached to the project. The original “Plane Train” was a…

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Sex acts to help your Hollywood career: Ranked


Trading sexual favors for career opportunities in Hollywood has been well documented over the last generation to the point where it’s common knowledge amongst almost all people in the world. The scale of what sexual actions will get you has not been detailed, until now.  I will go through what you can expect to get…

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Assparilla butt parade is an instant hit

The inaugural “Assparilla” butt parade made it’s debut this year on Gasparilla, to a fevered reception, drawing praise from all of Tampa. “It’s the best idea the city has had since Busch Gardens opened!” Said Bernard Mopkins, who was in attendance. “It was just a never-ending train of ladies with large butts tossing butt-shaped bead…

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Tampa woman accused of being fun at parties

Safety advocate

Following an exchange between young women in Tampa regarding Gasparilla activities, a local life coach is the victim of a slanderous accusation. A group of six to eight University of Tampa students was excitedly sharing intended plans to drink copious amounts of alcoholic beverages and engage in indiscriminate sexual activity with strangers during today’s annual…

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Woke liberal falls asleep at the wheel, kills 400

Monster Truck

A self-proclaimed “ultra-woke liberal” man fell asleep while driving his monster truck during a monster truck show and accidentally drove into the stands, running over thousands of people, killing 400. Known as “The Woke Bloke,” the British-born monster truck driver, moved to the States as a child and become a bleeding-liberal, constantly championing whatever the…

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2023 Things To Look Forward to This New Year

2023 Things to do in the year 2023

With the new year in full swing, here is a look at 2023 things to look forward to in the year 2023 I’m gonna be honest when I first pitched this idea to my editor he was all about it, but it took me a long time to write those first 100 ones.  I tried…

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Andrew Tate sparring session turns into all male orgy


A sparring session between world-famous social-media star Andrew Tate and some random guy, turned into a 50-person, all-male orgy. “We sucked we f*cked, the whole shebang.” Said Tate. I’m sorry I can’t even write this, it was over before it even started. The headline is the only funny part, there’s no reason to expand, the…

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Herpes or Pimple? New gameshow debuts on ABC Family


A new gameshow titled, “Herpes or Pimple” Which features contestants exposing their genitalia and then having to decide whether their opponents have herpes or simply just a pimple will be airing on ABC Family at 11:30 pm on Sundays and Mondays starting this Fall. Tampa News Force was given an advanced copy of the first…

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