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“Don’t say incest” bill passes in Florida

Incest

The Family Togetherness Act, also known as the “don’t say incest” bill has passed in Florida congress with a vote of 4-3, making it illegal for teachers to mention incest in any government school building. The bill which highlights issues of families struggling with incestual relationships between parents who were born brother and sister who…

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Sex With Pregnant Women Now Illegal in Florida

No Sex With Pregos

Now that life begins at conception, sex with pregnant women will be considered sexual battery on a minor. “New and expecting parents will be required by law to sign a form stating they didn’t engage in any sexual contact after discovering the pregnancy.” Said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis during a press conference where he signed…

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DeSantis places restrictions on Kate Bush music

Kate Bush

Due to being featured prominently in the popular Netflix series Stranger Things, the Kate Bush Song “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God),” originally released in 1985, is a chart-topping hit again. “Yeah, and I’m sick of it,” said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “Damn song is everywhere, all the time.” For that reason, among…

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Man terrified to wear mask at DeSantis press conference

DeSantis Threat

At a press conference earlier today in Nassau County where Florida Governor Ron DeSantis spoke about his ongoing plans for infrastructure improvements around the state, one man in attendance felt unsafe wearing a face mask. “I wanted to put it on, just to be careful because it was fairly crowded in there. I figured, ‘what’s…

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