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New Religious Cult Worships Lawyer’s Billboards

Religious Cult begins worshipping some lawyers ads

A new religious cult that worships the billboards advertising a local lawyer has taken up residence in the Tampa Bay area “Look how he smiles down upon us with benevolence and love,” says follower Prudence Holeflower, dancing uninhibitedly at the base of a Dennis Hernandez billboard located at the intersection of Florida Avenue and Kay…

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Tampa Breaks Ground on Largest Conversion Therapy Camp

Largest conversion therapy center in Florida breaks ground

Megachurch pastor, Wally B. Hartwallace was very happy upon hearing the latest verdict striking down the City of Tampa’s ban on conversion therapy. “I had already bought the land right here in the heart of Downtown Tampa,” said Pastor Hartwallace who is also a host of the popular Christian AM Talk Show. The pastor had…

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St Petersburg Loses Sainthood

Downtown St. Petersburg – Pinellas County – Monday, 4.8.2019 Following a strongly worded email that was sent to local government officials by the Vatican, St. Petersburg has officially had its Sainthood revoked. Citing issues of “excessive drug use, but like in an openly obnoxious way not even trying to be discreet,” and a surprisingly long…

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Pope Cancels Trip to Tampa Citing “Lack of Prayer”

Vatican – Italy – Tuesday, 2.12.2019 The Pope was set to arrive in Tampa this Friday, however he suddenly cancelled the trip citing “lack of prayer.”  “They don’t pray enough,” said the pope as he finished washing a peasant’s feet. “There are many good people in Tampa. Many God-fearing, wholesome individuals in Tampa, yes.” He…

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Virgin Mary Spotted in Strippers Asshole

Mons Venus – Tampa – Thursday, 2.7.2019 What some are calling “a miracle” took place last weekend when a portrait of the Virgin Mary presented itself in the form of a stripper’s asshole at the Mons Venus on Dale Mabry. “I was putting my money on the counter, nothing big, just ones to try and…

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