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Necrophiliac opens sleep study center

Necrophiliac Opens a Sleep Center in Tampa

A necrophiliac opened a sleep study center in the plaza that has the Golden Corral in it off Highway 19. “Hey, I have sex with dead bodies, not sleeping people, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.” Said convicted necrophiliac Ned Krowfeeleak. “I’ve been rehabilitated, that’s all behind me,” Krowfeeleak said. “It’s honestly…

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Tampa Bay Retailers Hoping To Go Out Of Business Before Halloween

Man hopes his business goes out of business soon

Tampa Bay Area merchants who operate traditional brick-and-mortar retail stores are hoping to be put out of business soon, in order to lease their locations to seasonal Halloween pop-up stores.  “I’m starting to get nervous; it’s September and some of those stores are already open,” says Susan Gligart, owner of Aunt Suzy’s Crafts and Yarn.…

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Used car dealer yells at confused commuters

Screaming Used Car Salesman

Billy Fucillo, a used car salesman who owns dealerships in Clearwater, Wesley Chapel and Port Charlotte, was heard on local radio stations this morning screaming, “RAARRGH!”*, “GYAAAAHH!!”*, “BLURGH!”* and ”HUUUGE!!”*, confusing and upsetting Tampa Bay area commuters on their way to work. (* = author’s interpretation of guttural noises) “I don’t know what he’s talking…

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