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FDOT closes MLK roads throughout Florida
The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) has closed all streets, roads, boulevards and avenues named after the honorable Dr. Martin Luther King throughout the state immediately. “To be clear, we want to make sure everyone knows this is not an edict that came down from the Governor as a stance against Critical Road Theory,” said…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis sends National Guard to Gasparilla
This morning, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis ordered The National Guard to the Gasparilla Festival in Tampa, citing that the foreign invaders pose a national security risk. “We don’t negotiate with terrorists,” DeSantis said while ordering the National Guard to dig a moat around the Governors Mansion. Although critics of the DeSantis Administration were quick to…
Read MoreLocal residents express displeasure with airport flamingo name
After receiving 65,000 ideas submitted to Tampa International Airport’s contest to name the giant flamingo that is the centerpiece of the 21-foot tall sculpture titled “Home” by artist Matthew Mazzotta, a winner has been chosen; it’s “Phoebe” and people hate it. “We understood when we launched the contest that some people would inevitably be disappointed.…
Read MoreTampa man joy-shamed
Harold Kolber of Tampa was the victim of an unprovoked joy-shaming at a local restaurant earlier today. Mr. Kolber was peacefully enjoying lunch by himself at the Wuhan Fook Chinese restaurant on Dale Mabry when the Hendersons, a boisterous family of seven came in, chattering excitedly. They noisily dragged two tables together so they could…
Read MoreTampa man’s mom throws away his collection of Trump cards
Scott Hamper recently discovered that his mother, with whom he lives in a house in Tampa, has thrown away his entire collection of Donald Trump cards. “Mom! Jesus Christ!” he was quoted as saying upon learning of the situation. The Trump cards, which are also considered non-fungible tokens (NFTs) cost $99 each and were issued…
Read MoreCelebrity suicide inspires Tampa woman to tell people to care about each other
Beth Skrimp of Tampa was so moved by the death-by-suicide of multi-talented entertainer Stephen “tWitch” Boss on Wednesday that she devoted an entire Facebook status to how it impacted her and as a call to action for others: “Here was someone who seemed to have it all; career, family, all that. And he meant so…
Read MoreMayor Castor bans golf carts for all city employees
As the City of Tampa begins to search for a new chief of police in the wake of former chief Mary O’Connor’s resignation, Mayor Jane Castor is adding a stringent new guideline applying to all city employees. “No more golf carts,” she said. “No owning them, no riding in them, using them to play golf.…
Read MoreWoke uncle wrecks family’s Thanksgiving
Kenneth Childress of South Bend, Indiana, ruined his family’s Thanksgiving while visiting them in Tampa by sharing his extremely tolerant and socially aware opinions during the traditional holiday meal. “Uncle Kenneth is always a handful. He just can’t help himself,” said Carl Childress, who works hard all year to keep a roof over this family’s…
Read MoreTampa News Force fires marketing professional
Joe Blanc, a marketing expert under contract by Tampa News Force (TNF) to promote Sunday’s TNF 2000th Article Celebration / Free Beer Estate Sale Costume Contest has been relieved of his duties effective immediately. “We hired Joe to spin a sign to draw some visibility to the event, you know, really flamboyant, elaborate dance routines…
Read MorePastor Randy White turned away from event at Armature Works
Last night at the Armature Works complex just north of downtown Tampa, the America First Policy Institute hosted a “Women’s Initiative” event, featuring appearances by Pam Bondi, Kellyanne Conway, Dr. Alveda King, Linda McMahon, Brooke L. Rollins, Carla Sands and Pastor Paula White-Cain. Local megachurch pastor and White-Cain’s ex-husband Randy White was denied access. “Baby,…
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