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First woman manager in professional baseball history will get start in Tampa

Rachel Balkovec

The New York Yankees have announced that the manager of their class-A affiliate, the Tampa Tarpons, for the upcoming 2022 season will be Rachel Balkovec, making her the first woman to manage on a full-time basis in professional baseball.

Previously, Balkovec served as a hitting coach in the Yankees organization, beginning with the 2020 season. Prior to that, she had served as a strength and conditioning coach in the minors for both the St. Louis Cardinals and Houston Astros.

This move has inspired passionate reactions from local baseball fans, some of whom are vaguely aware that a minor league baseball team plays in Tampa…

“It’s kind of out-of-the -box, but think it’s great. If she’s qualified to do the job, there’s no good reason she shouldn’t get a shot at doing it.” – Carl Queeters, St. Petersburg

“The team will be changing their name to the Tampa Tampons.” – pandering podcaster and former professional comedian, Nick DiPaolo, New York

“This is stupid. She looks ridiculous in that uniform. Baseball uniforms should only be worn by professional MALE athletes in peak physical condition or men in their 50s, 60s or 70s. Nobody else.” – Steve Shellstrap, Tampa

“Congratulations to her! She is living my dream. But I was born in a different era.” – Kathy Singleton, Clearwater

“Oh, I suppose I’m not allowed to comment on her looks. What, I can check out Aaron Judge’s nice, firm ass, flexing in those tight pinstriped pants but I can’t objectify this woman coach? That’s reverse discrimination.” – Steve Shellstrap, getting back in line to comment again

“What does she know about hitting Major League pitching? What do I know about hitting Major League pitching??Exactly. I mean, I’m a man, but I just… I just feel so vulnerable right now…” – That Steve guy again

“What’s next, crying? There’s no crying in baseball! And yes, I realize that what I’m doing right now is crying about something involving baseball but… Well, shit. I don’t really understand what’s happening. But I don’t like it. I think it’s making me gay. I know I raised that possibility when I complimented Aaron Judge’s ass, but… fuck! I’m completely gay now. Thanks a lot, baseball. None of this is my fault!” – Some guy who claims he’s not Steve Shellstrap but is clearly Steve Shellstrap wearing sunglasses and a hat

“Okay, I really don’t know; maybe I might not be gay, but I do hate women so much. And that’s a common trait among gay men, right? It’s not?? Well, fuck! Which stereotypes am I even supposed to build my fundamental beliefs around?” – Steve Shellstrip (we spelled his name wrong previously)

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54