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Highway sign mocks motorists

A digital information sign posted just south of Exit 46B (Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.) on I-275 North in Tampa is making fun of drivers.

The sign reads, “FOWLER AVE. 5 MILES 7-9 MINUTES”, indicating that it should take less than 10 minutes to traverse that stretch, which is a practical impossibility except when traveling very late at night on certain days of the week.

“I’m not a physicist or even that good at math but I used the calculator on my phone and you’d have to average around 40 mph (actually 38mph – Editor) in order for that to happen,” said Darryl Washburn, while stuck in gridlock as he attempted to drive home on Friday afternoon. “I won’t even hit 35 at any single point between here and Fowler.”

Other drivers had different reactions to what is obviously a joke being perpetrated by some scamps with the Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT).

“7 to 9 minutes? Hey, that doesn’t seem too bad! Usually, it’s at least 20-30 minutes,” said Kathy Lannox of Temple Terrace. “Oh wait, it isn’t true, is it. Of course not. Damn it, that’s not right.”

“Okay, okay you got me. I almost believed it,” said Joel Gunderhorst of Wesley Chapel. “I sure wanted to believe it. Good one, FDOT. Way to keep us on our toes.”

“It’s like the microwave instructions on a convenience store burrito,” said Teresa Jipple of Tampa. “You can believe that three minutes will give you a perfect burrito that isn’t both hot as molten lava on the ends while remaining frozen solid in the middle if you want to, but experience should tell you that is never gonna be the case and that you should adjust your expectations accordingly.”

“That’s actually the best way to look at it,” said FDOT spokesperson Larry Motorboogie. “I-275 is basically the frozen convenience store burrito of highways.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54