A new car wash on Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa recently held a grand opening and enlisted the help of an inflatable dancing tube man to draw the attention of prospective customers, a marketing tactic that failed to produce the desired results.
“I expected the inflatable dancing tube man to amuse and delight people with his amusing and delightful, spastic dance moves,” said car wash owner Javi Looyah. “Unfortunately, people were neither amused nor delighted.”
“I’m not angry with the inflatable dancing tube man; he worked hard and did his job. I was certainly amused and delighted,” he added. “But I can’t help but be disappointed with the turnout. This was supposed to be a big day and it just… wasn’t.”
Mr. Looyah is seeking a refund on his rental of the inflatable dancing tube man from Bay Area Inflatable Dancing Tube Men Rentals, Inc., a division of Amusing DelightCo, although the company said they aren’t giving him his money back.
“The tube man we supplied was inflated and it danced,” said Brenda Ballunez, a manager with Bay Area Inflatable Dancing Tube Men Rentals, Inc. “Contractually, we fulfilled our inflatable, dancing tubeligation.”
“As to why the business in question experienced sub-optimal results in terms of drawing patrons, that could be attributed to a number of other non-inflatable dancing tube man factors,” she said. “Maybe the inflatable dancing tube man we supplied wasn’t displayed prominently. Maybe people’s cars weren’t dirty. Maybe nobody cares about the grand opening of a car wash. Who knows? None of that is our fault or responsibility.”
“Well, I don’t know about any of that,” said Looyah. “It’s a 15′ tall inflatable dancing tube man; anywhere it’s displayed is going to be prominent. I know people had to see it. Nobody’s car is that clean and this is a pretty great car wash, if I say so myself.”
“As impossible as it may seem, I just think people might not be that impressed by inflatable dancing tube men anymore, in which case I’m due a refund because it didn’t serve its purpose of promoting my business.”
“That’s preposterous,” retorted Ballunez. “People will never get tired of the particular amusement and delight that only an inflatable dancing tube man can provide.”
“I guess we’ll settle this in inflatable dancing tube court,” said Looyah.