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Influenza pissed at several local Tampa Bay attorneys and parents, and some Uncles


Florida Judge John Cooper, ruled in favor of several prominent Tampa Bay Area attorneys and parents who filed a lawsuit challenging  Governor Ron DeSantis’ ban on mask mandates in schools. DeSantis already promises to appeal the ruling, but globally known tyrant Influenza may be most upset with the outcome.

“I can’t believe another year is slipping by with me getting pushed into the corner, nobody puts baby in the corner”, he said. “At least not with a mask.” 

World renowned, Influenza has been speaking out about the belittling treatment he’s receiving among the medical community and many social media common sense influencers and the entire Tampa Bay Area of attorneys and parents and some Uncles. 

“It’s not fair, I don’t understand why COVID gets all the attention. I have years of skin germs in the game, yet COVID comes around and everyone’s back to singing their ABC’s while washing their hands. Who knew so many people from Florida even learned the ABC’s?”

Influenza is finally speaking out on the bullying situation that has been weighing down his self esteem “I have many enemies, but never have I been insulted more in my decades of terror, then I have been in the past year! 2020 was the year of COVID’s reign, but this is 2021 and Florida as a whole, was supposed to be my year to manifest. My life coach promised! The moon was even in retrograde over Jupiter’s Uranus.” 

Influenza’s virtual (the flu has no desire to catch the COVID) spiritual life coach from St. Pete, and crystal shop owner Maxi Pockits promised to keep the shop unmasked and unvaccinated. Life coach, crystal shop owner AND nudist colony resident Herman Sweezi cites, “Masks and saline vaccination are fake and restricting. I don’t wear underwear on my face and you can’t make me wear it on my body.”

“Leave it to the Tampa attorney and parent busybody’s with antibodies to take away the no mask opportunities in schools, said Influenza. “You have no idea how hurtful it is to hear people say things like “I’m sick, but don’t worry it’s not COVID, just the flu. Just the flu! I used to mean something. ‘Oh no, it’s the flu! Wait, A or B… Both!! Ahhhhh, the horror!’ Those were the days. People gasped at thought of having me, but super shape shifter COVID makes people actually gasp. It’s really not fair.”

Influenza continued, “Everyone claimed the times of pandemic world were scary and uncertain; well, I AM a pandemic. Nobody closed schools, churches and the NFL for me. These Tampa Bay lawyers may be filing the ‘one day President’ case as a win, but this upset will always be marked unprecedented to me. Who even thought to have cold symptoms as ridiculous as taking away people’s sense of smell and sense of taste and sense of humor? Enough is enough with my oppressive cousin COVID.” 

Influenza concluded the interview by running out of the room yelling, “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!.”

Darcy Greco

About Darcy Greco

Darcy Greco is the media liaison for the City of Tampa’s Coyote Affairs Department.She works closely with the mayor’s office, local law enforcement agencies and all media outlets in matters concerning human/coyote relations.