Tampa News Force Headquarters – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 4.23.2019
After a long internal investigation, experts concluded that Tampa News Force, is fake news. The conclusion was determined after a close study of all of their previous articles and future intentions, it was deemed that the entire business was founded on the concept of “being funny,” and “changing the media landscape.”
“I can’t believe we’re still doing this,” said co-founder of TNF, and current author of this article, John Jacobs. “Yea, I mean, it’s wild, we post fake news articles and some kind of real newsy interviews with actual relevant folks, but yea, people share the articles, and some think it’s real, and it’s really funny to see who really can’t tell, because sadly the current state of the media is a somber one.” Jacobs’ got serious for a moment as he hit a golf ball while we stood on-top of TNF news headquarters.
The glass roof, gleaming in the sunlight, dead-center of downtown, pillaring over all other skyscrapers within the vicinity.
Jacobs’ jumped up and grabbed onto a zip-line. “Follow me this way!” He shouted.
We took the zip-line down to a separate building and onto a rooftop pool where someone was waiting with an over-the-top mojito. The mysterious man took a small sip of the mojito and obviously didn’t like it, but acted like he did because he thought he was being cool, but he was not at all.
He loosened up. “Let’s stop being so serious!” The mysterious man said, while patting me on the back. “What are you so scared of?” He gripped me on my shoulder a little hard.
“I’m not scared of anything!” I screamed. Then I did a backflip but failed half-way through, and landed on my face, busting my teeth out in a violent fashion. The mojito man gets down and quickly starts sweeping up my teeth and sopping up my blood. “I’m fine!” I said. And I was, because none of this was real, and how could I be talking to myself, when I’m typing to myself right now? And writing to you? Right? Now?
Jacobs’ shook me out of my journalistic haze then metaphorically, and physically, lifted me up by my boot-straps standing me back on my feet.
“None of this is real,” he said while motioning towards the entire city. “This is all made up. Fake news. Make-believe.” He did a motion to imply a resolve of illusion.
“I don’t understand,” I said.
“What don’t you get?” Jacobs’ said.
“I just… I don’t understand, how can it be fake, but it’s been on actual news TV and in local accredited newspapers? How can it be fake, but be in the real news as well? It’s fake and real? I don’t understand? How can they both exist?” He laughed and then I laughed.
“That’s something you’re going to have to figure out for yourself,” the mojito man swished ice-cubes around what was now a whiskey glass, and it was smooth because I never noticed he switched from the mojito to the whiskey, so I was impressed on that fact alone.
“Are you familiar with the multi-verse theory?” He said before I immediately lost interest in his played-out analogies and fake depth and decided that it was best for me to just end the interview early.
The point is, the articles are fake for the most part and sometimes the video segments are real, we’re planning on doing more stuff, but yea, I’m the guy I’m quoting in the article, it’s me guys! I’m the co-founder! Drop us some upvotes on our DM box! Gas me up zaddy!