Valentine’s Day plans took a turn for a Tampa couple after late visits to a CVS.
“I’ve been trying to break up with this chick for a while and she’s just not getting the hint,” said Jake Blacher. “I decided I would just do the most basic, cheap Valentine’s Day date possible and she would break it off on the spot. Nope!”
Blacher invited Jessie Numberbatch to lunch – not dinner – at the Sonic on Dale Mabry.
“Cheap-ass fast food eaten outdoors in the middle of the day next door to a strip club. It’s the worst date I could imagine,” said Blacher. “I figured she would get pissed, storm off and then I could walk over to the strip club. Turns out the weather was nice and her favorite things are Fritos Chili Cheese Wraps and Cherry Limeades. Who knew? Not me!”
Blacher upped the ante by arriving 20 minutes late after stopping at a nearby CVS to purchase Numberbatch a ‘gift’.
“It was a heart-shaped piece of wire with candy and a big bow on it. You know, like Snickers and shit,” he said. “And not the full-size Snickers. The so-called ‘fun size’ ones.”
“It was the tackiest thing they had and she loved it! She started crying and I thought, ‘YES!’ but it was the wrong kind of crying.”
Blacher was shocked. He’d even handed it to her in a plastic bag with the receipt in it.
“Jake is so sweet and thoughtful,” said Numberbatch. “Am I mad that he went to CVS? Not at all! I shop at CVS all the time. That’s where I buy my home pregnancy tests!”
“Speaking of, I have a HUGE surprise for Jake later tonight. I can’t wait to see his reaction!”