Tampa News Force
Tampa General Hospital Patient Gets Poked One Too Many Times
How would you rate the quality of your healthcare? 🏥
Breaking News
Recreational Marijuana in Florida Will Be on Ballot in November
Also, something about abortions. 🤷♂️
Sports
Tampa News Force Sports Analysts Break Down Lightning’s Loss to Calgary on “Pride Night”
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? 🏒🥅🌈
Arts and Entertainment
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Florida Prison Guard Unable to Afford Rent, Commits Crime to Sleep in Prison
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Local and Community
12 Things to Make Tampa Better, from a Guy Who Just Moved Here
Tampa is a very nice city that can do a couple of small improvements to easily improve the quality of life for everyone who calls…
While quarantined at home like the rest of us, Tom Brady has decided to spend some of his extra free time writing articles for Tampa News Force. “I figured this would be a great way to get to know the city that’s going to be rooting for me all the way to the Super Bowl,”…
Langsley Newton of Deltona Lakes, Florida has discovered that after a diet of microwaved urine for two weeks, ze is no longer infected with the Covid-19 Coronavirus. Doctors attribute the desecration of the disease to the fact that Newton’s body was under extreme stress and panic which caused a mass exodus of toxins from zirs…
In an effort to protect the health of its workers, Publix has announced they are permanently closing every deli inside all Publix locations until further notice. “It’s the most dangerous part of the store at the moment,” said Publix owner Pube Licks. “As much as we would love to keep serving you backwoods hillbillies those…
A man in Pinellas County was arrested after trying to sell his child on Craigslist in exchange for a stimulus check. “It’s one of the dumbest and most heinous crimes we’ve ever seen.” Said Sargent Deputy Hank McClutchen. “In the post he claimed his child would, ‘do whatever you want him to do, and he…
With beaches now open in Florida but gyms still closed, staying in shape during quarantine doesn’t have to be difficult if you follow these simple excercises. 1. Getting Out of Bed Getting out of bed is a great way to work out your legs because it requires you to stand up, which forces your legs…
Hi Rick Scott, my name is Chingy and I work for Tampa News Force. In the past we have covered some of your major accomplishments, such as the time you won the award for Best Dick Pic, and that time you kicked a baby in the nuts, also that time that you were found eating…
One lucky man, in prison for possession of marijuana, is receiving a full pardon from Florida governor Ron Desantis. The pardon is part of an annual tradition in honor of the unofficial “stoner” holiday April 20th, or 4/20. The convict in question, Johnathan Davenport, could not be more happy to be selected, but it wasn’t…
Congratulations to Pal Hatterson, the Tampa News Force Media Watchdog Of The Week!
In an effort to supply more citizens in Florida with the N95 mask, the Brandon, Florida, police department has set-up a ‘Guns for Mask’ exchange to encourage gun owners to turn in their guns for a 10-pack of masks. “The hell I’m giving up my guns for something my wife can crochet together,” said fellow…
“My opponents would say I’m not entitled to cash in because it has nothing to do with me, in that not only did I not write it but that I also don’t believe it because it implies that the poors are included. My counter to that is: So? That never stopped me when it came to stealing from Medicare.”