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Recreational Marijuana in Florida Will Be on Ballot in November
Also, something about abortions. 🤷♂️
Sports
Tampa News Force Sports Analysts Break Down Lightning’s Loss to Calgary on “Pride Night”
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? 🏒🥅🌈
Arts and Entertainment
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Florida Prison Guard Unable to Afford Rent, Commits Crime to Sleep in Prison
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Local and Community
12 Things to Make Tampa Better, from a Guy Who Just Moved Here
Tampa is a very nice city that can do a couple of small improvements to easily improve the quality of life for everyone who calls…
“I can’t wait to just jerk my own lil ding dong off all day long and creep on strangers who don’t know me!”
“We have all the things from the movie, and we put them together all sprawled throughout the fair grounds, and there me even be some loose tigers, but we have people sign waivers up front, so we’re not really responsible for whatever happens, and we think the fans appreciate that kind of authenticity.”
“It’s nice to be recognized as a valuable asset to the local population,” I continued in my head, voice echoing throughout my empty, cavernous, skull.
Tampa is currently giving you the exploitation of both beautiful (should be) wild animals AND frightened people seeking spiritual comfort and somehow, both of those things are hilarious.
During his most recent conference concerning the COVID-19 safety measures, President Donald Trump took a moment to congratulate Tampa News Force as the only news organization brave enough to report the real news. “You are doing a great job,” said Trump while pointing directly at me. “Unlike the other fake news media who came to…
Jerk off Jerking off is one of the easiest things you can do when you have nothing else to do and are stuck at home. It feels good, it doesn’t cost any money, (internet if you prefer visuals/audio), we don’t know if there’s really any lasting negative mental effects because we’re stupid and can’t seem…
While much of Florida begins a quarantine that hopes to stop the spread of COVID-19, people with incomes greater than $35,000 a year are celebrating the fact that they are too rich to contract the virus. “I’m not rich,” said Shairy Woods, a woman who works two jobs and barely makes $36,000 a year. “I…
In an effort to provide the most vulnerable citizens in the Tampa area with the boner pills they need to survive; a new delivery service hopes to keep hardworking retired gentlemen operational through the end of the current crisis. “Honestly, I can order my dick pills online and have the post office deliver them,” said…
It was announced on Monday of this week that employees will be allowed to wear jeans all week long as a reward for their bravery and dedication.
In an effort to continue spreading information, the popular and award-winning organization Tampa News Force has announced they are expanding their team. “We are currently accepting all unsolicited news and images from folks seeking writing credits with the intent to publish them without any fact checking whatsoever,” said Tampa News Force co-founder and part-time virtual…