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Tampa News Force

Lost Headline

Guy forgets headline, publishes article anyway

By John Jacobs | November 30, 2022

I also forgot the article too. My boss is going to have his way with me when he sees this. But screw it, I don’t care anymore. What’s he going to do, fire me? He has nobody else! Literally! I look up and down my hallway and every office has cleared out! It’s me, the…

Breaking News

Cheese Challenged

Cheese Challenged baby in Tampa retains legal counsel

Three-year-old Chase Champlain of Tampa has hired a lawyer in order to sue his parents for physical and emotional damage he suffered in 2019 as…

JD Power

JD Power ranks Tampa Number One in human trafficking

The city of Tampa has been officially ranked as the number one city in the world for human trafficking by JD Power. Not J.D. Power…

Lost Headline

Guy forgets headline, publishes article anyway

By John Jacobs | November 30, 2022

I also forgot the article too. My boss is going to have his way with me when he sees this. But screw it, I don’t care anymore. What’s he going to do, fire me? He has nobody else! Literally! I look up and down my hallway and every office has cleared out! It’s me, the…

Sports

turkey fight

Jake Paul set to fight Obama pardoned Turkey at Amalie Arena!

YouTube internet sensation turned professional money grab boxing douche, Jake Paul has his sights set to gobble up some serious Pay-Per-View profits this holiday season.…

Reverse Hetero

Lightning to wear special edition reverse-hetero jerseys tonight

The Tampa Bay Lightning will wear their brand-new, special edition “reverse-hetero” uniforms tonight in their game against the Carolina Hurricanes at Amalie Arena. “We already…

Coach Gruden, USF

The case FOR hiring Jon Gruden as USF’s next football coach

By Lemur J. Fitzmuggins III | November 12, 2022

The other day, The Daily Stampede, SB Nation’s blog devoted to comprehensive coverage of the University of South Florida’s (USF) athletic programs, published an outstanding piece by Robert Steeg on how the idea of hiring former Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach to take over as head coach of the USF Bulls is such a ridiculous…

Arts and Entertainment

WUSF fills slot formerly occupied by ”All Night Jazz”

Following radio station WUSF’s decision to end the popular “All Night Jazz” program, which was a staple on the station for 56 years, many longtime…

Plantation Owner

Country club turns back into slave plantation

Oldsmar Country Club has officially turned back into a slave plantation after the board of directors voted to make the change. “I mean, come on.”…

Taylor and Greg

Taylor Swift tour reconfigured to make fans happy

By Clark Brooks | November 22, 2022

Following a series of mishaps with tickets being made available for Taylor Swift’s upcoming world tour, which resulted in the general public on-sale being cancelled and fans being extremely dissatisfied, Live Nation Entertainment has totally restructured the entire production and tour schedule. “Our customers have spoken out and we have heard them,” said Greg Maffei,…

Government

Kanye & The Jews

New law states Jews are allowed to call Kanye West “The N-word”

A new law passed by the shadow government court has declared that all people of the Jewish faith, (The white one), are allowed to call…

Dawn

Pinellas County School Board welcomes newly-elected totally non-QAnon affiliated member

The newest member of the Pinellas County School Board is Dawn Peters, a self-described “Florida native, a successful businesswoman and a devoted mother to two…

Wealthy

Secret society member almost gets in trouble

By John Jacobs | November 14, 2022

A rookie TPD officer is making headlines after processing Jeremiah Rothsfather, a well known high-ranking member of a wealthy, elite, powerful, secret organization. “What a rookie idiot, he had no clue!” Laughed officer Perry Ramirez, partner of the rookie officer who has asked to remain unnamed due to impending doom. “He’s going to be whacked…

Local and Community

Roller Skaters

Roller rink turns out to be bloody pit of living demon teeth

What some originally thought was a discotek roller rink has actually turned out to be a living, evil, demonic pit full of razor sharp teeth,…

Cancelled

Man famous for cancelling people gets cancelled

Donovan Menendez “Canny” Cancelero, a 45-year-old dog breeder who rose to fame by publicly cancelling people on his Etsy page has been cancelled himself after…

Curtis Hixon Park

Masturbation in public parks now legal for one hour per day

By John Jacobs | November 29, 2022

A new addendum has certified that masturbation in public parks is now legal for one hour per day, every day of the week. After a 6-3 vote by the Tampa Parks Authority, exposing sexual organs in public for self gratification is now legal from 8-9pm every night, as long as it’s within park limits. The…

Tampa News Force Podcast: Episode 1

By Josh Santos | September 29, 2018

First Episode of the Tampa News Force Podcast where we bring you the news!

Foiled Again!

By Josh Santos | September 26, 2018

What is even happening!?

Freaky Friday!

By Josh Santos | September 23, 2018

It’s Freaky Friday! Starring Gaven & Jander Gray

Lights Out!

By Josh Santos | September 17, 2018

Lights lights lights lights!

Don’t Believe Me?

By Josh Santos | September 15, 2018

Just Watch!

I’m Hooked!

By Josh Santos | September 14, 2018

Pirate man loves weed!

This Much

By Josh Santos | September 14, 2018

How much do you whey?

Shoot It!

By Josh Santos | September 13, 2018

Dude shut up!

Farty B

By Josh Santos | September 12, 2018

I love new music!

Jump Rope

By Josh Santos | September 11, 2018

Talk shit about me bitch!