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OJ Simpson Looks up what search terms are leading readers to the Tampa News Force website, and he is not happy about it.

Study Shows Most Tampa News Force Readers Use Website to Justify Ordering Prostitutes Online

By Josh Santos | December 19, 2019

After reluctantly looking at the Google Search Console results for the Tampa News Force website, owner and manager OJ Simpson discovered that most readers use the website to justify their decision to attempt to order prostitutes online. “It looks like a legitimate website,” says recent sex trafficking sting victim Paulie McDees, “I specifically searched whether…

Penis Fish Protestors at Pass-a-Grille Beach

Bay area residents protest possible but unlikely ‘penis fish’ invasion

By Clark Brooks | December 18, 2019

Following a bizarre weather anomaly that caused thousands of so-called “penis fish” to wash up on Drake’s Beach, just north of San Francisco, California, Tampa Bay area residents are letting it be known that they don’t want that to happen here.  Plant City’s Tanya Grinnell was among a large group who showed up at Pass-A-Grille…

Matt Gaetz slams the impeachment proceedings with a series of loud chirps and clicks

Tampa Man Convinced that Angrily Yelling Nonsense Counts as Facts

By Josh Santos | December 16, 2019

A local man skimmed through a pre-recorded Trump impeachment article hearing in hopes of find the talking points that most align with his world view. “I don’t understand government, civics or ethics at all,” said Paulie Borntarters.  “It was very infuriating having to think about how the democrats want to have laws and rules followed…

Teen Angry About Greta Thunberg but for other reasons

Bay area teen has own reasons for hating Greta Thunberg

By Clark Brooks | December 16, 2019

Chelsea Kuubler, a 16-year-old in Dunedin, hates environmental activist Greta Thunberg, but not for the same reasons that many people have for disliking the Swedish teenager. “I’m sick of all the attention my dad pays to her,” says Chelsea. “She’s all he ever talks about. Well, he mostly yells about her, but at least he…

Woman sells tits for crack

Stripper sells tits for crack

By John Jacobs | December 14, 2019

A Tampa Heights stripper was caught selling her fake breasts for crack cocaine during a police sting operation. Barnetha Baily was recently released from her shift at Swingling’s Gentlemen’s Club, when she stopped at the overpass on Columbus, and attempted to cut her own breast implants out with a knife, to trade them for a…

White Claw to Sponsor Graduation Party

White Claw to Sponsor University of Tampa Graduation Party

By Josh Santos | December 13, 2019

The spiked seltzer water conglomerate, White Claw, is sponsoring a year-end bash at Blake’s house this weekend in celebration of his super-senior graduation from University of Tampa. “I spent many years patrolling the quad, checking out the hotties, and welcoming the newbs,” said Artie Basel, UT Spartan mascot and freshman favorite party connect. “I know…

Antonio Brown Joins the XFL

Antonio Brown Drafted by the Tampa Bay Vipers

By Josh Santos | December 12, 2019

In what is being called the best possible option for former New England Patriots wide receiver, Antonio Brown, the Tampa Bay Vipers have announced him as the newest player on the team. “It took a lot of convincing because Brown was an outspoken critic of the XFL,” says Marc Trestman, Vipers Head Coach.  “The first…

White Cemetery in Tampa discovered

EDITORIAL: What about the white cemeteries?

By Clark Brooks | December 10, 2019

Through a series of investigative journalism articles written by Paul Guzzo and published in the Tampa Bay Times, attention is now being paid to several ignored, forgotten and abandoned African-American cemeteries in and around Tampa that have been paved over and built upon. This is, at best, a negligent, highly disrespectful oversight and possibly something…

Tampa sells its soul for new stadium

Tampa sells soul for new Rays stadium

By John Jacobs | December 10, 2019

In a wildly fictional series of events, the city of Tampa collectively sold their souls in exchange for a new state-of-the-art Rays stadium, to be built by 2028, centrally located between downtown and Ybor. Through witchcraft and a combination of dark magic spells, local government officials were able to conjure a portal to the underworld,…

Bank Robber wanted in Tampa

Tampa News Force Attempts to Provide Real News

By Josh Santos | December 10, 2019

This past week, we shared a video about a bank robber who is still on the loose in the Tampa Bay area. This man is still wanted by the police and the reward for information leading to his arrest is currently $35,000.  Since the video was published, police say the suspect shot and robbed a…