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Stop living a lie, be yourself this 2020

20 Tips to get your New Year Started Right

By Josh Santos | January 1, 2020

20. Stop living a lie Be the real you this year, stop lying to others and surround yourself with only those who can handle your baggage. 19. Quit Wasting Your Energy on Imaginary Arguments in Your Head Why are you spending so much time and energy arguing with someone who isn’t there? 18. Eat more…

Cloning facility in Clearwater runs “New Year, New Me” promotion

By Stephen Henry | January 1, 2020

Advanced Genetics Replication Enterprises of East Bay is ringing in the New Year with deep discounts on cloning services. “Honestly, our everyday services are always two-for-one,” said Dr. Kyle Rosenthal. “So, these deals are even more irresponsible.” Human cloning has become increasingly safe in the last decade and now boasts a risk of an evil…

Tampa Bay Vipers prepare jock jams playlist

Tampa Bay Vipers caught trying to sneak into Outback Bowl

By Clark Brooks | January 1, 2020

The XFL’s Tampa Bay Vipers were stymied in an attempt to sneak into Raymond James Stadium, with plans to participate in the 2020 Outback Bowl between the Auburn Tigers and Minnesota Golden Gophers.  “I thought it would be a good idea to get our guys some media exposure as well as some real game preparation,…

Bay Area psychic predicts “more of the same” in 2020

By Clark Brooks | December 31, 2019

The Amazing Desdamona, widely considered Tampa Bay’s most accurate psychic, has predicted that the year 2020 will be very similar to the year 2019. “It’s going to be a very good year for some people, mostly people who had a very good year last year. Also same thing for people who had a bad 2019;…

Pinellas County No more curse words initiative

Pinellas County launches anti-profanity initiative

By Clark Brooks | December 30, 2019

In an effort to promote civility and decorum, Pinellas County government leaders have launched a new anti-profanity initiative. “It seems like we’re seeing folks directing more hostility and anger towards one another than ever before and we want to try to address that on a local level,” says county commissioner Pamela Rarebit. “I mean, we…

Porn Hub Security Camera

Tampa Couple Shocked to Discover Their New Security Camera Has Been Broadcasting to PornHub

By Josh Santos | December 28, 2019

A Tampa couple is suing a popular security camera maker after discovering that their newly installed camera system had been broadcasting to the popular porn streaming website, PornHub. “I bought my wife this security camera to prove to her that I wasn’t wearing and stretching out her yoga pants while she was at work,” said…

Bernie Sanders Blacks out In Ybor City

Bernie Sanders Blacks Out in Ybor City

By Josh Santos | December 27, 2019

While partying with some Antifa members in Ybor City, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders had a little too much to drink and blacked out. “I was discussing my policies with some of the young Americans who spend their time in Ybor City,” said Sanders who was nursing his hangover with a little hair of the dog.…

Unverified rumor claims Rick Scott was secretly born a woman

Rick Scott Voted Sexiest Politician of 2019 at C-SPAN Awards

By Josh Santos | December 26, 2019

In a landslide victory which many are calling a pay-to-play contest, Florida Senator Rick Scott was declared the ‘Sexiest Politician’ at this year’s C-SPAN Awards. “It was an honor to be nominated, and an even bigger honor to win,” said Scott while accepting the award, speaking mostly to a crowd of aides for front runners…

Christ, Keep him in Christmas

Five Liberal Talking Points and How to Destroy Them This Christmas: Own the Libs Today

By Josh Santos | December 25, 2019

Face it, out of any day this year, some libtard is going to try and wish you a Happy Holidays instead of keeping Christ in Christmas. Don’t let them get away with it! Use our handy guide to bring down any of their misguided talking points with your own passionate and misinformed soliloquy that is…

Ghost of Tampa's Past

Porch pirate dressed as “Ghost of Tampa Past” busted in Seminole Heights

By Clark Brooks | December 24, 2019

A man who tried to disguise himself as “The Ghost of Tampa Past” has been arrested for attempting to steal a package from the porch of a home in Seminole Heights. Gregory Baghonutz was apprehended in the act when Celeste Marzapan opened her front door just as he was picking up a box that had…