Tampa News Force
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Breaking News
Controversy surrounding statue of brainless Kennedy in convertible on Kennedy Blvd
Conspiracy theory from the art world!
Sports
Tampa News Force Sports Analysts Break Down Lightning’s Loss to Calgary on “Pride Night”
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? 🏒🥅🌈
Arts and Entertainment
Busch Gardens Tampa announces birth of endangered orangutan, now it’s all they talk about
Are you excited to meet the new baby? 🦧
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Florida Prison Guard Unable to Afford Rent, Commits Crime to Sleep in Prison
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Local and Community
12 Things to Make Tampa Better, from a Guy Who Just Moved Here
Tampa is a very nice city that can do a couple of small improvements to easily improve the quality of life for everyone who calls…
The affiliates in charge of Chick-fil-A’s charity giving fund have announced that they will no longer be donating to organizations that are Anti-LGBTQ. Instead, the company announced their devotion to the Church of Satan and are moving forward with plans to give $0.10 out of every sandwich sold to Lucifer worshippers, as well as organizations…
In an effort to help young men hate women “correctly”, University of South Florida is offering a course in Misogyny. “The political climate in the past few years has made it not only easier but necessary to hate women, so a lot of young fellas are already conditioned and proficient,” says professor Jay Dribbler. “But…
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, their star quarterback Jameis Winston and every team the Buccaneers play have come together to launch a new charitable initiative: INTs 4 INfanTs. From now on, every time Jameis Winston throws four interceptions in a game, the Buccaneers will purchase a perfectly healthy newborn baby and award it to a lucky…
Publix announced today the creation of a new Pub-Sub in honor of the Buccaneers quarterback who famously stole crab legs from one of their locations. “The Winston Interceptor will feature 18 layers of crab meat on a bun, and nothing else,” said Publix spokesperson, Miguelito Abrepiernas. “We hope our customers enjoy this sandwich as much…
In a landmark deal, the Rays Touch Tank stingrays will be moving out of Tropicana Field and will now be housed at the Channelside Florida Aquarium. “These stingrays haven’t seen actual sunlight in years,” said Rays owner Stu Sternberg. “Within the next few years, you are all going to be seeing less and less of…
Tampa’s latest brewery is set to open in Downtown Tampa, and it will include a very sexy twist. “Sex and beer bro!” Said owner and operator of BeerN’Tits Brewery, Loryanne Gilchrist. Gilchrist then offered me a freshly canned beer. “I think you’re going to like this one, it’s called Blowjob Juice IPA.” I drank the…
In a deal that started with former mayoral candidate David Straz selling the company to Disney, has now ended with Disney selling the company to OJ Simpson, the former NFL player with a dark scandal that’s clouded his prolific athletic and movie career. The sale comes after Tampa News Force posted a story about the…
Local TV station WFTS, Channel 28, is reporting Tampa mayor Jane Castor recently helped the Tampa Bay Police Department track down and arrest a burglar. “After preaching for 31 years to every citizen in the community when you see something suspicious, call us up so we can go check it out,” said Castor, who served…
Brandon, Seffner, and Valrico have merged to create a new community named, “Three Amigos.” The local governments of each county were participating in a intramural kickball league, when after running through 15 cases of Michelob Ultra, they voted unanimously to become one community that would share all the benefits they each individually reaped. “Valrico’s got…
The city of Tampa was recently honored as the best city to live in without a home in the latest issue of Homeless By Choice magazine. “I worked two full time jobs that payed the minimum wage for almost eight years without a day off,” said Wally Robbins, a young able-bodied person with mental health…