Breaking News
Mosaic Plant Suffers an Oopsie
Brush fires create massive plumes of smoke visible from miles away all the time!🔥🔥🔥🚒🧯
TNF Intern Finally Gets Headline Right
We appreciate our interns. Not enough to pay them, but still.
Sports
Schadenfreude still more popular leisure activity than Pickleball
What’s your favorite leisure activity?
Tampa News Force Sports Analysts Break Down Lightning’s Loss to Calgary on “Pride Night”
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? 🏒🥅🌈
Arts and Entertainment
Government
Florida Prison Guard Unable to Afford Rent, Commits Crime to Sleep in Prison
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Local and Community
Leaf blowers now outnumber leaves in Tampa Bay
What would it sound like around here without these things operating at all hours in every neighborhood?
On Halloween, a haunted Zion cemetery-themed attraction will be held in Robles park, inspired by the real events of the missing 400 people lost in the Zion cemetery. “We thought it would be a good way to remind people of the atrocities which took place here while also providing fun entertainment for the children on…
A bill passed banning grinding in night clubs in Florida, specifically Tampa, citing numerous complaints of “creepiness.” Gyrating on a dance floor is still allowed, as long as there are at least 10 inches between the dancers, and no bodily contact is made for more than 3 seconds at a time, including handshakes and hugs.…
The Hillsborough County Board of Education has announced that all schools within Tampa city limits will immediately be rebranded as “conversion therapy centers”. Board spokesman Ron Tickleton says, “We’re taking this step since so many people think reparative therapy, trying to change an individual’s sexual orientation from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual using psychological or…
The Federal Bureau of Investigation has announced they have purchased the Oriental Express restaurant at 510 E. Jackson Street for the purpose of turning it into a new branch office. “There are a lot of exciting developments taking place downtown and we want to be a part of that,” says FBI spokesman Gil Ranger. The…
A high-speed car chase, like something you’d see in a movie, roared through Robles Park and Tampa Heights today, destroying property and killing numerous people. “I’m sorry, I just suddenly really wanted a watermelon,” says Burt McQueen, a lawyer who works in downtown Tampa and a participant in the chase. “I was on my way…
As part of a new construction plan, Tampa will now employ hundreds of homeless people to walk on the highway while traffic is stopped to give drivers $10. “We’ve been throwing money at our highways for decades, and nothing ever seems to work,” said Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) representative Kennie Wheelis. “After our latest…
The city of Tampa is being turned into an immersive video game set to release on all gaming platforms in time for the holidays. “It’s gonna be awesome,” says Mike Turbo, 36-year-old video game designer who tries to act like he’s 15 and living in 1988. “You can actually play the entire city! Gnarly!” Players…
Bob Adler, proud owner of a red 1957 Ford Thunderbird in near-mint condition is deeply disappointed with an attempt to cruise Tampa’s Al Lopez Park. “Total waste of time,” said Adler. “I searched Google for ‘best places to cruise’ in Tampa and was referred to a bunch of different web sites. Many of them mentioned…
A museum celebrating the history of strip clubs and fireworks opened in Largo yesterday to an enthusiastic crowd of locals. The state-of-the-art facility takes guests on an immersive tour through multiple corridors, beginning with a simulated cornfield in which the first fireworks were invented in 1832 China. Later in the tour, guests are introduced to…