Tampa News Force
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Breaking News
Controversy surrounding statue of brainless Kennedy in convertible on Kennedy Blvd
Conspiracy theory from the art world!
Sports
Tampa News Force Sports Analysts Break Down Lightning’s Loss to Calgary on “Pride Night”
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? 🏒🥅🌈
Arts and Entertainment
Busch Gardens Tampa announces birth of endangered orangutan, now it’s all they talk about
Are you excited to meet the new baby? 🦧
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Florida Prison Guard Unable to Afford Rent, Commits Crime to Sleep in Prison
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Local and Community
Babies Prohibited from Crying on Water Street
At least there’s one place in town you can go and enjoy peace and quiet 👶
Florida Senator Rick Scott spent much of the past few days praying for the upcoming Hurricane Dorian to gather enough strength and drown every poor person in its path. “As governor of Florida, I made sure every poor person worked even harder than they had to if they wanted the dollars,” said Senator Scott, still…
Roger Gnudtke, a salesman for Hindercapable Inc. is having yet another record breaking sales year. “When the company first assigned me the downtown Tampa territory, I didn’t have very high hopes. Mostly because nobody lived there and all the businesses closed at 5 PM,”, says Gnudtke. “But shortly after that, a couple condo towers were…
Tampa Bay’s newly christened team in the re-launched XFL, the Vipers, is preparing for the launch of their inaugural season in February of 2020 by making a playlist of songs commonly played at sporting events. “Let’s be honest; the biggest challenge we face is establishing ourselves as a viable, legitimate professional sports franchise that the…
Tampa News Force fans gathered outside of the Creative Loafing offices to demand a preemptive recount in the event that they don’t win anything. “We went through the list on ‘tampanewsforce.com/vote‘ and had some issues with it,” said one TNF fan who wanted to remain anonymous. “First thing, the login is really sketchy. Very bad…
Members of a newly assembled road construction crew working in Tampa Heights are struggling to decide who should stand where and how when passing time, doing nothing. Andy, Ernie, Hector, Julio, Mike and Phil were recently assigned to build some sort of bigger, sturdier, concrete curb obstruction island deal at the intersection of North Highland…
A wild alligator has been reported pregnant, after stumbling into the Benjamin Hernandez Chicken Park in Ybor City. Security footage caught an Ybor Chicken befriending the alligator, before mating with it only minutes after meeting it. “We’ve never seen this kind of behavior before.” Said Alice Wedgie, morning-shift feeder and caretaker of the Ybor fowl.…
Billy Fucillo, a used car salesman who owns dealerships in Clearwater, Wesley Chapel and Port Charlotte, was heard on local radio stations this morning screaming, “RAARRGH!”*, “GYAAAAHH!!”*, “BLURGH!”* and ”HUUUGE!!”*, confusing and upsetting Tampa Bay area commuters on their way to work. (* = author’s interpretation of guttural noises) “I don’t know what he’s talking…
Ybor City – Hillsborough County – Monday, 8.19.19 Legendary Australian filmmaker George Miller is going to shoot the next (currently untitled) chapter in the wildly popular “Mad Max/Road Warrior” series of films here in the Tampa bay area. Right about now, you were expecting us to say he’s just going to mount a couple of…
King State Cafe – Hillsborough County – Friday 8.17.19 As part of a cross promotion for the Amalie Arena concert, Queen plus Adam Lambert have announced a special free show taking place at Tampa Heights newest cafe. “This tour all I’ve been doing is singing songs from that ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ movie,” said Adam Lambert while…
Ty’s Pooles – Hillsborough County – Friday, 8.16.19 It is not standard practice here at Tampa News Force to offer unsolicited advertising in the form of a news story, but we recently found out about this swimming pool store north of Raymond James Stadium offering ridiculous discounts and it’s been a very hot summer here…