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Porch pirate converts to Islam on doorbell camera

Islamic porch pirate

When  noticed someone was walking onto his front porch to steal his most recent Amazon package, instead of attacking him or calling the police, the man confronted the potential thief, and within a matter of moments, was able to convert him to Islam, all which was documented from a Ring doorbell camera by his front door.

“I usually would just trash this guys ass if I saw him trying to steal a package off my front steps, I’ve done it before, and I’m sure I’ll have to do it again.” Said Mustafa Yumpkin, Pasco homeowner, and man who turned a potential criminal into a lover of Islam.

“I opened the door and saw him stealing my package, and I said ‘what’s your name?’ And he went, ‘Heinreich Ehrlacher.’ And I thought, ‘hmm now that’s an interesting name you don’t hear too often.’ So I decided to teach him the ways of Allah and share my love of religion with him, instead of absolutely dogging him with a one shot knock out punch to his jaw.” Said Yumpkin

“The fact that it was documented was funny so I uploaded it to Ding-Dong, the Tic-Tok esque app for doorbell camera videos, and it blew up and I got lots of comments, I even got some pu**y from this video.” Yumpkin bragged.

“Yea, chicks started hitting my DMs and I was like, ‘Uh, Yummy yum Yumpkin’s got somethin for your dumpling!’ If you know what I mean.” Yumpkin jabbed my ribs with his elbow.

“Yea, so anyways that’s the story, now get off of my front porch before I do what I should have done to that other guy.” Yumpkin quickly changed his tone and shattered my audio recorder on the ground.

“Get the f**k out of here!” He screamed at me, so I left.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

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