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Snowcat Ridge re-opens

Snowcat Ridge

After a brief closure due to safety concerns, Snowcat Ridge has re-opened.

The first-of-its-kind snow park in Pasco County was forced to temporarily stop operations because its permit was revoked by the county because of what county officials described as “life-safety issues”.

In a news release, the county said during several visits, Fire Rescue and Building Construction Services discovered fire, building, electrical and plumbing violations that pose a threat to both public health and safety.

“Pasco County became aware November 25 that Snowcat Ridge was operating in unsafe structures, without required permits, inspections or a certificate of occupancy,” the county wrote.

“We feel that we’ve resolved their concerns and are pleased to announce that we’re open for all kinds of snowy Florida winter fun”, said park spokesperson Eliza Mugbreath.

Among the steps taken:

  • “Snowy Slopes”, a 60-foot tall, 400-foot long snow tubing hill featuring single, tandem and family-style snow tubing has had the electrified barbed-wire safety barrier at the bottom replaced with a fairly-heavily padded cinderblock wall. “It’s bouncier!”, said Mugbreath.
  • The “Arctic Igloo”, which features a snow play area (great for building the perfect snowman) and a bunny slope for riders under 42″ tall, designed especially for children 3 years old and younger will be monitored by a pack of scary, meth-addled drifters on hand to intimidate kids and make sure they don’t play too rough. “It’s advantageous that we’re located in an area with so many scary, meth-addled drifters available”, said Mugbreath. “That certainly wasn’t something we expected to be an asset when we opened but it’s kind of worked out.”
  • “Santa’s Helpers Petting Zoo”, an area where children could pet and feed human beings dressed as elves has been closed and will not re-open. “Yeah, that one was a mistake that should have never opened in the first place, due more to it being culturally insensitive than dangerous”, said Mugbreath. “But as it turns out, the 5’2″ and under scary, meth-addled drifters we’d stocked the area with were kind of bitey.”

In addition, the park is now using a more flame-retardant form of “snow” throughout all attractions. “As cool as it is to see multiple families all screaming in terror as the tubes they’re rocketing down the slope on burst into flames, ultimately it’s just not a good long-term return on investment for us”, said Mugbreath.

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54