Studies from various universities are suggesting that young, impressionable children under the age of 10, aka “Gen Whatever Comes After XYZ”, have little to no confidence in the time-honored institution of journalism.
“I always wanted to be an investigative reporter my whole life,” says Basil Wreathburn, whose whole life will be eight years in February, which is adorable. He continued, “But now I think that would suck,” which is less than adorable and kind of obnoxious, coming from a pre-teen.
Young Basil bases his revised opinion on the recent increase of mean things being said by and to Tampa News Force. “Everything is a bunch of words I’m not allowed to say and it hurts my feelings and makes me feel awful. There are literally thousands of careers I could have where my feelings get hurt every day and I feel awful about myself that at least pay fairly decently and offer benefits.”
Linda Switz, a teacher at Tampa’s Mitchell Elementary Conversion Therapy Center says that it’s gotten so bad lately, that the incredibly popular “Reading With TNF” program has had to be suspended indefinitely. “Every day, we used to sit down with our classes and discuss all the local news. The kids loved it! They were so engaged in discovering what was happening in their community. Now, my gracious, the language is just so coarse and degrading. I see words that I don’t even know, and I was in the fuckin’ Navy for six years. As an educator responsible for the shaping of young minds, I can’t expose these little cocksuckers to that shit.”
It’s true that in recent days, that some articles posted to Tampa News Force have consisted almost entirely of profanity and violent threats. These articles have been attributed to malicious computer hacks, that have yet to be verified. What HAS been verified is that Stringcheez, the greatest hacker of this or any generation is up in this piece and that the TNF staff writers are poop! OMG can’t stop, won’t stop LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL #Download #MaLwArE #Code #Phishing #Buckhorn2023Bitches LOLOLOLOLOLOL