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717 Parking Enterprises creates ‘717 Parking Enterprises II’


Jason Accardi, President and CEO of Seven One Seven Parking Enterprises, announced yesterday that a new company has been formed: 717 Parking Enterprises II. “People are liable to hear this and think this is some sort of lawsuit or tax dodge, to escape some sort of legal punishment for conducting shady business, ala President Trump,”…

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717 Parking owner spotted trying to topple Jackson House

Eye witnesses are claiming that Jason Accardi, President and CEO of 717 Parking Services Inc., was recently seen trying to knock over the historic Jackson Rooming House in downtown Tampa by leaning against it, a charge he vehemently denies. “Yeah man, he was pushing hard against it and grunting, ‘Come! On!’”said Jasper Heaves, one of…

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Pope declares “no redemption” for 717 parking attendants

Pope mad at 717 Parking

Pope Francis has earned quite a reputation for himself as the forward-thinking, progressive head of the Catholic Church and sovereign of the Vatican. He first made headlines in 2014 with his controversial declaration that homosexuality is not a sin, and the Catholic Church should not oppress people based on sexual orientation the same way they…

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Family Disowns Son For Taking Job With 717 Parking

Family disowns man for taking job with 717 Parking

Justin Rooper, a sophomore at the University of South Florida, has been disowned by his family for taking a part-time job with 717 Parking. “This is it, the last straw. No son of mine…” says Todd Rooper, Justin’s father, before being overwhelmed by grief and anger. His wife Carol patted her husband’s shoulder and said,…

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