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Lightning goal horn sounds prematurely again

Goal Horn

At last night’s NHL Eastern Conference Final game between the Tampa Bay Lightning and New York Rangers, which the Lightning won 4-1 to even the best-of-seven series at two games apiece, the goal horn went off after a shot from Lightning defenseman Jan Ruuta went wide of the net at the 14:50 mark of the…

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Andreychuk statue tired of being molested

Andreychuk statue

The statue of former Tampa Bay Lightning captain and NHL Hall of Famer Dave Andreychuk near the entrance to Amalie Arena has had enough of being touched inappropriately without consent. “Thousands of people pass by me every week and most of them are respectful and polite. They’ll stop and take pictures with me and I’m…

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Bunch of idiots stand in line for no reason

Bunch of idiots

Right now, there are a whole bunch of idiots standing in line at Amalie Arena, waiting for the doors to open at 6pm prior to tonight’s Tool concert. Some of these idiots have been in line since yesterday morning, when it was raining with temperatures in the low 40s. You can drive by right now…

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Outkast’s Big Boi working as usher at Amalie Arena

Big Boi

Antwon “Big Boi” Patton, half of the influential hip hop duo Outkast has been spotted working events at Amalie Arena in downtown Tampa as an usher. “Not for much longer, though,” he said, as he assisted patrons in finding their seats at the recent Jimmy Buffett concert held there. “Once I finish paying off this…

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Lightning dress code expanded to accept anything

Amalie Arena New Dress Code

In the wake of a recent incident captured on video of Amalie Arena staff members attempting to enforce a dress code policy that went viral on line, the arena has announced that the parameters of the policy have been broadened and will now allow patrons to wear anything they want. The previous policy was as…

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Virtual sports fan is exhausted

virtual fan

A cardboard cutout intended to fill seats at Tampa Bay sporting events representing a fan who can’t attend due to restrictions resulting from COVID needs a vacation from sports. “It’s been a wild ride, for sure”, said the 2′ 6″ high x 1′ 6″ wide corrugated cardboard silhouette. “In less than five months, I’ve attended…

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Lightning fans seek creative ways to watch games

No Bolts on TV

A bitter battle over carriage fees between Sinclair Broadcast Group, which owns Fox Sports Sun and 20 other regional sports networks across the country that have rights for NHL, NBA and MLB teams, and the cable and streaming subscription services that no longer carry the stations continues to wage with no resolution in sight. This…

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Giuliani attends Lightning banner raising at Nebraska Avenue motel

Banner raised

President Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, the increasingly befuddled Rudy Giuliani, attended a ceremony honoring the 2020 Stanley Cup Champion Tampa Bay Lightning at the Alamo Motel on Nebraska Avenue in Tampa last night. “It’s so good to be here at the Alamo Arena,” he said in remarks to bewildered passers-by. “I heard they weren’t allowing…

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