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Ron DeSantis can’t find a therapist

Ron and the empty chair

Florida Governor and adult toddler, Ron DeSantis, feels as hopeless as ever. His longtime pal, Rush Limbaugh, died of cancer. DeSantis ordered Florida’s flags to be lowered in honor of the conservative radio host. However, Florida Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried, St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman and the Palm Beach County Commission all ignored his order.…

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T-shirt ad makes Clearwater cat lady sad

Cat Lady

Claudia Caswell of Clearwater, a self-described, unapologetic “crazy cat lady” recently came across an ad on Facebook that left here severely depressed. “It was an ad for a t-shirt that says ‘Purrsonal Cat Servant’ and at first I laughed because that’s me”, she said. “But then it made me really, really sad.” Caswell said she…

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Tampa pharmaceutical company launches anxiety-enhancing treatment

Suxzobad

Shakewell Pharmaceutical Laboratory, a commercial manufacturer of medicine here in Tampa has developed a new pill for those who are suffering from crippling optimism. “People have been so unhappy about so much for so long. This has become their lives and even though they’re absolutely miserable, this is their comfort zone”, said company spokesperson Kaitlyn…

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Depressed gamer’s obvious pleas for help ignored

Chris Mozzler of Temple Terrace, who plays Call of Duty under the name “Frenzeee867” has been sending very obvious signs through his game play that he’s severely depressed, signs that have thus far been ignored and even mocked by fellow gamers. “Yeah, I play with him sometimes. He sucks,” says Gavin DeLira (YaMomsNutz121212) “We’ll be…

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