Posts Tagged ‘DeSantis covid’
As approval rating drops, DeSantis reluctant to call out faithful but flatulent supporters
As the drastic increase in COVID-19 cases surges throughout the state of Florida, polls indicate that the popularity of Governor Ron DeSantis is dropping across the board among registered voters of all political persuasions, with his net approval rating (the share of voters who approve of his job performance minus the share who disapprove) falling…
Read MoreDeSantis deflects criticism of his handling of COVID resurgence
In spite of cases of COVID-19 rising once again in the state of Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis remains defiant of any kind of public safety restrictions or mandates. Yesterday at a press conference in Tampa, he responded directly to criticism that he is not making the situation a top priority. “It is very important that…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis’ handpicked panel of experts completely agrees with Governor DeSantis
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis held a public health roundtable in Tampa Thursday afternoon, where he invited a panel of scientists, researchers, doctors and various experts to weigh in on issues surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic, all of whom agreed that DeSantis has done a terrific job dealing with the pandemic. “Huh. How about that”, said DeSantis.…
Read MoreDeSantis might consider making COVID vaccines available to poor people
“Please, don’t say ‘poor’ people. I did not use that description. I never have and I never will, okay? It’s offensive”, he said. “I prefer to call them ‘not rich enough’.”
Read MoreCOVID test numbers expected to plummet to record lows in Tampa this weekend
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is reporting that projections indicate that there will be zero positive COVID-19 test results from Tampa between now and the end of the Christmas weekend, which he is giddily touting as a Christmas Miracle. “It’s a Christmas Miracle!”, he touted giddily at a hastily arranged press conference on Dale Mabry Highway,…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis unveils new office furniture
“You know what? If the President of the United States feels that he can lead the greatest nation on earth from behind a fun-size executive desk, then by God I can lead the greatest state in the union while working with doll furniture”
Read MoreFlorida’s COVID-19 dashboard now advertises Publix sandwich deals instead of case numbers
In a shocking announcement this afternoon, Governor Ron DeSantis, held a press conference to inform citizens that the Department of Health (DoH) would be “tracking when our beloved Publix subs are on sale,” he put on his mask and whispered quietly, “instead of when people die.” Since the beginning of the pandemic, Florida’s COVID-19 dashboard…
Read MoreDeSantis comes his pants during Covid test
Governor Ron DeSantis prematurely ejaculated into his pants Wednesday morning while getting his nose swabbed for a Covid-19 test. He then farted loudly and turned to the press cameras and went “oopsies!” This coming only shortly after he recently came his pants while giving an impassioned speech on television about, “how everyone got it wrong,…
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