Posts Tagged ‘Desantis Emergency’
DeSantis Designates Authorized Hurricane Landfall Point in Florida
This should do the trick 🤞
Read MoreDeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club in West Palm Beach yesterday. “Governor DeSantis feels very strongly that this situation requires his immediate and personal attention,” said spokesperson Katie Beatty. “He always gets involved at this level…
Read MoreDeSantis plans to travel back in time to prevent vaccinations
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is in Tampa today to attempt going back in time to prevent the invention and implementation of vaccines for polio, measles, smallpox and other conditions that have been virtually eradicated. “I don’t know what it was like back then because obviously I don’t study or learn from history, recent or otherwise.…
Read MorePolitical bickering between DeSantis and Kriseman hampering red tide relief efforts
A battle along political lines between Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman is creating an unnecessary delay in emergency funding from the state getting to the city to help deal with tons of dead sea life washing up on Pinellas beaches due to a red tide outbreak. Tampa News Force has…
Read MoreDeSantis accepts support from Biden, becomes physically ill
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis expressed appreciation to President Joe Biden for leading the federal response to the collapse of a condo building in the coastal suburb of Surfside last week. “You recognized the severity of this tragedy from day one, and you’ve been very supportive”, he said, wincing in obvious discomfort and addressing Biden as…
Read MoreDeSantis signs legislation to deal with flooding caused by who-knows-what
On Wednesday in Tarpon Springs, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed two bills intended to make Florida better prepared for future flooding and sea level rise. ”There’s no question that Florida is at serious risk from flooding and other detrimental effects caused by severe weather”, he said. “The only real question is why occurrences of extreme…
Read MoreFlorida’s COVID-19 dashboard now advertises Publix sandwich deals instead of case numbers
In a shocking announcement this afternoon, Governor Ron DeSantis, held a press conference to inform citizens that the Department of Health (DoH) would be “tracking when our beloved Publix subs are on sale,” he put on his mask and whispered quietly, “instead of when people die.” Since the beginning of the pandemic, Florida’s COVID-19 dashboard…
Read MoreDeSantis bans all foreign journalists who come from countries that start with the letter K
In an effort to avoid potentially embarrassing situations like Rudy Giuliani’s appearance in the new Borat film, Florida governor Ron DeSantis is enacting an immediate emergency ban on all foreign journalists coming to the state of Florida from countries whose names begin with the letter K. “Foreign operatives interfering with our democratic process are a…
Read MoreGovernor Desantis declares Florida a State of Emergen-C®
Tampa Social Club – Hillsborough County – Sunday 2.24.2019 Speaking to a standing room crowd at Tampa’s most prestigious social club, Florida Governor Ron Desantis started by thanking the crowd and then coughed…for a while. One of his aides rushed to the stage and handed him a cup of water. He reached for the cup…
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