Posts Tagged ‘DeSantis ron’
DeSantis DeNounces ‘Woke Baseball Classic’, Declares USA Winner
Last night in Miami, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis issued a proclamation honoring the team representing the United States in the recently completed World Baseball Classic as the rightful winners of the global tournament. “I don’t care what the scoreboard said, baseball is America’s game, America is number one and America is the winner,” he said,…
Read MoreDeSantis visits local Thigh restaurant
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis visited Tampa yesterday for the express purpose of dining at Si-Am Thaimerican Restaurant on Franklin Street downtown. “Man, do I love some good Thigh food. The authentic stuff, like the Thigh people make in Thighland. Pad Thigh is probably my favorite. I also like Thigh Spring Rolls, Thigh Salad, Thigh-style Chicken…
Read MoreTrump endorses Clearwater pizzeria
Former or current President of the United States Donald Trump has offered his enthusiastic support of Sonny’s Pizza, a small pizza and subs shop in Clearwater. “He approached us, not vice-versa, which is wild,” said owner Tim “Sonny” Schwartz. “Apparently he called lots of pizza places in Florida before reaching us. I guess we got…
Read MoreDeSantis has new favorite comic strip
Florida governor Ron DeSantis recently discovered the syndicated comic strip ‘Dilbert’, and it has immediately become his favorite. “It’s just so funny! Look at him, with his tie flipping upward. Whose tie does that? Not mine, that’s for sure. Dilbert’s, that’s who! Ha ha ha!” he said, reiterating that he thinks the strip is funny.…
Read MoreDeSantis marked safe from February
Top Florida State security officials have confirmed that Governor Ron DeSantis has survived the month of February, also known as “Black History Month”, unscathed. “There are still a few hours left, but we’re pretty sure he’ll make it,” said Florida State Police spokesperson Lou Scannon. “The odds of him being exposed to any references to…
Read MoreLittle League team forced to practice in secrecy
The Palma Ceia Little League Minor B Rangers have gone into hiding to practice for the upcoming season due to the DeSantis administration’s recent efforts to suppress Black history education initiatives. “I don’t think it necessarily qualifies as Black history,” said Rangers head coach Greg Sanders. “But I guess you really can’t be too careful…
Read MoreDeSantis bans February
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced early this morning that effective immediately the month of February is illegal throughout the state. “The month of January will now be 45 days long and will be known as Janmaxuary and March will also be 45 days and shall be referred to as MarchUltra,” the Governor declared. “All the…
Read MoreTrump too smart to fall for DeShenantisanigans
As division widens between top Republican leaders former President Donald Trump and recently re-elected Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, tensions between the two men on a personal level are rising. At a recent “We’re In This Together Breakfast & Lunch But Definitely Not Brunch Because That’s Gay” event held at the prestigious Denny’s on Dale Mabry…
Read MoreDignitaries invited to be honored at TNF 2000th Article party
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and Florida Senator Rick Scott have been invited by Tampa News Force to appear at the TNF 2000th Article Celebration / Free Beer Estate Sale Costume Contest, this Sunday, October 30th at Café Hey in Tampa for the sake of being presented with special meritorious achievement awards. The following was sent…
Read MoreDeSantis refuses to commit to type of coffee he wants to drink
In town this afternoon for lunch at Seasons 52 at the Westshore Plaza, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was either unwilling or unable to tell a server if he wanted regular coffee or decaf. “I greeted him and asked if he’d like to start out with a beverage, the way I do with every customer,” said…
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