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Tampa pharmaceutical company launches anxiety-enhancing treatment


Shakewell Pharmaceutical Laboratory, a commercial manufacturer of medicine here in Tampa has developed a new pill for those who are suffering from crippling optimism. “People have been so unhappy about so much for so long. This has become their lives and even though they’re absolutely miserable, this is their comfort zone”, said company spokesperson Kaitlyn…

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No News Today – come back tomorrow

Closed today

Hey everybody. We took a look at what’s going on in the world and figured the odds of anything significant happening today are pretty slim, so we’re taking the rest of the day off. Enjoy this boring, completely uneventful Saturday, November 7th, 2020, and we’ll see you tomorrow!

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Obese turtle offended by Anderson Cooper’s comments

A turtle who lives in the retention pond at the Grande Oasis at Carrollwood apartment complex off Himes Avenue in Tampa is deeply insulted by remarks offered by CNN’s Anderson Cooper following a press conference from President Donald Trump earlier this evening. “That is the president of the United States,” Cooper said. “That is the…

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Florida Election Results: Liberals Realize they Don’t Bang Enough

Fuckless Libs

After realizing that Donald Trump easily defeated Joe Biden in a popularity contest, Liberals in Florida took a good hard look at their sex spreadsheets.   “I’m just not reproducing at the speed that I should I have compared to my Republican ‘Compadres’,” said Shimrod Orangotan, a man who admitted to me that he hasn’t…

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Man Heckling Joe Biden Turns Out to Be Mirror

Scranton, PA — Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden was recorded getting into a spirited discussion with what he called an “old man heckler” at one of his final campaign stops before the election. The heckler turned out to be a full-length mirror he was passing on his way to an interview.  “He wouldn’t let me get a word in,”…

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