Posts Tagged ‘florida coronavirus’
Governor DeSantis’ handpicked panel of experts completely agrees with Governor DeSantis
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis held a public health roundtable in Tampa Thursday afternoon, where he invited a panel of scientists, researchers, doctors and various experts to weigh in on issues surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic, all of whom agreed that DeSantis has done a terrific job dealing with the pandemic. “Huh. How about that”, said DeSantis.…
Read MoreThousands prepare to flock to state they say they can’t stand
As traditional social activities begin resuming under somewhat “normal”, pre-COVID conditions, many people who claim to hate the state of Florida are making plans to visit the state of Florida. “Man, everything about that place is straight-up trash, with meth and STD’s everywhere”, said Chad Wheeley, a sophomore at Syracuse University. “And I can not…
Read MoreElderly St. Pete woman backs DeSantis vaccine policies
Valerie Mondeburt of St. Petersburg is a senior citizen who has not been able to sign up for the COVID-19 vaccine, something for which she does not blame Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “How anyone can blame him for this is beyond me”, she said. “He’s doing the best he can and putting Florida seniors first.…
Read MoreTeens who caused toilet paper hoarding panic ‘really, really sorry’
“Yeah, we’re sorry”, says 16-year-old Chad Didswell. “Yeah, really, really sorry”, says his best friend, 15-year-old Kevin Qug, as they exchanged a quick, subtle high-five when they thought I wasn’t looking.
Read MoreDunedin man severely beaten for not washing his hands
Jim Philfer of Dunedin was attacked upon exiting a public restroom by a mob of angry people because he didn’t wash his hands. Philfer, a Rob Lowe-lookin’ motherfucker, says, “I was on a date, eating dinner at Casa Tina with this hot blonde whose name escapes me, and I excused myself to visit the men’s…
Read MoreCity of Tampa prepares for March events, keeping citizen safety in mind
“We want to keep people safe for sure, but we aren’t a bunch of little fucking bitches are we?”
Read More5 signs you may have Coronavirus
If you are ticklish you must get tested now.
Read MoreGoths, stoners, and doomsday preppers donate gas masks to fight Coronavirus
Three disparate groups banded together to donate their unused gas masks and time in an attempt to save lives.
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