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Man goes full week without texting his ex

Texter

A Tampa man is being recognized for his efforts after going an entire week without texting his ex girlfriend. “It’s super hard, and every day is brutal, but I’m doing it!” He said to me in confidence. “You’re not going to write about this are you?” He asked. “Of course I am, this is a…

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Letter from IRS bodes poor for TNF writer’s future

COON IRS

An email from the IRS was sent to TNF writer Chris Coon, and we’ve published the message in it’s entirety here: From The Internal Revenue Service: To Christopher Coon, CEO of “Chris Coon’s Flimsy Alligator Tax Shelter,” I am hereby denying the tax exempt status of your organization. Your mission statement: “Alligators should be more…

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Where to fight in Tampa

Where to fight in Tampa

3. Court If you want to fight in Tampa, the only way you can legally get away with the literal definition of fighting is to go to court, whether it’s against a person or the state.  The state is more desirable because less humanitarian suffering. You can fight in a very high stakes medium which…

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WUSF to premiere new community affairs show

Florida Mantters

WUSF (89.7 FM), west central Florida’s only National Public Radio station, is introducing a new program, intended to provide meaningful and relevant content that enhances a previously underrepresented local community’s quality of life. Beginning next Wednesday at 3:23 in the morning “because that’s when the intended audience seems to be up and doing things”, said…

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Thousands prepare to flock to state they say they can’t stand

As traditional social activities begin resuming under somewhat “normal”, pre-COVID conditions, many people who claim to hate the state of Florida are making plans to visit the state of Florida. “Man, everything about that place is straight-up trash, with meth and STD’s everywhere”, said Chad Wheeley, a sophomore at Syracuse University. “And I can not…

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Adam Johnson signs exclusive deal for HSN show

New HSN host

Adam Johnson of Parrish, who has gained some notoriety recently for his participation in the insurrection at the Capitol Building in Washington DC on January 6th, has been given his own show with the Home Shopping Network. HSN producers say the St. Petersburg-based television network owned by the Qurate Retail Group, which also owns catalog company Cornerstone…

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Cemetery not found underneath Best Buy

Turns out that the Best Buy on Dale Mabry is the only place in Tampa not built on top of a forgotten cemetery

The Best Buy located on North Dale Mabry is officially the only structure in Tampa that is not located on top of an abandoned cemetery, studies concluded. After a full infrared scan of Tampa, it was discovered that every single plot of land contained a forgotten cemetery, complete with caskets and corpses. “It’s amazing, because…

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