Posts Tagged ‘Florida Schools’
“Don’t say incest” bill passes in Florida
The Family Togetherness Act, also known as the “don’t say incest” bill has passed in Florida congress with a vote of 4-3, making it illegal for teachers to mention incest in any government school building. The bill which highlights issues of families struggling with incestual relationships between parents who were born brother and sister who…
Read MoreDesperate Florida schools turn to student teachers
Florida schools are facing a major staffing crisis, with over a thousand unfilled positions in Hillsborough County alone, where the school year began yesterday. As a result, they are turning to the school’s students themselves as a last resort. “We tried to recruit unqualified military veterans. That didn’t work. We’ve tried everything, every possible option,”…
Read MoreInfluenza pissed at several local Tampa Bay attorneys and parents, and some Uncles
Florida Judge John Cooper, ruled in favor of several prominent Tampa Bay Area attorneys and parents who filed a lawsuit challenging Governor Ron DeSantis’ ban on mask mandates in schools. DeSantis already promises to appeal the ruling, but globally known tyrant Influenza may be most upset with the outcome. “I can’t believe another year is slipping…
Read MoreFlorida Education Commissioner Revealed to be a Sentient Bag of Dicks
During a recent press conference, Florida’s Education Commissioner had a wardrobe malfunction and accidentally revealed that the man we all knew as Richard Corcoran was secretly a literal bag of dicks that had gained sentience and became a politician. “Look, I know my real appearance might surprise people,” said the sentient bag of dicks. Reporters…
Read MoreFlorida Charter High Schools Ready for Freshman Class Draft
Gifted Science Magic Charter School – Hillsborough County – Saturday 4.27.2019 Florida is set to become the first State to allow charter schools a chance to pick the students they want from graduating public school 8th graders. “We’ve realized that making every school in Florida an A+ school, takes a lot of work,” said Florida…
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