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Desperate Florida schools turn to student teachers


Florida schools are facing a major staffing crisis, with over a thousand unfilled positions in Hillsborough County alone, where the school year began yesterday. As a result, they are turning to the school’s students themselves as a last resort. “We tried to recruit unqualified military veterans. That didn’t work. We’ve tried everything, every possible option,”…

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Florida Education Commissioner Revealed to be a Sentient Bag of Dicks

Bag O Dicks

During a recent press conference, Florida’s Education Commissioner had a wardrobe malfunction and accidentally revealed that the man we all knew as Richard Corcoran was secretly a literal bag of dicks that had gained sentience and became a politician. “Look, I know my real appearance might surprise people,” said the sentient bag of dicks. Reporters…

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Florida Charter High Schools Ready for Freshman Class Draft

Gifted Science Magic Charter School – Hillsborough County – Saturday 4.27.2019 Florida is set to become the first State to allow charter schools a chance to pick the students they want from graduating public school 8th graders. “We’ve realized that making every school in Florida an A+ school, takes a lot of work,” said Florida…

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