Posts Tagged ‘Gasparilla’
Special Gasparilla event scheduled
Inspired by New Orleans residents who have taken to decorating their homes like parade floats since traditional annual Mardi Gras festivities aren’t taking place, the City of Tampa is creating a special event to fill the void created by the postponement of Gasparilla. “Let’s face it; Gasparilla holds a special place in so many people’s…
Read MoreState Fair Authority says Gasparilla Krewes are ‘pussies’
“…we got livestock to judge, Tilt-A-Whirls to tilt and whirl and Oreos to deep fry. And by God, that’s exactly what we’re gonna do!”
Read MoreSomali pirates disappointed with decision to delay Gasparilla
“I know we really get into the pirate thing but those guys take it to the next level.”
Read More“Gaysparilla” homosexual parade to take place on 6/9/2020
“We’re fairies, we love to float! We deserve our own floats!” Said un-closeted Ybor patron, Zeon Flamboye.
Read MoreGasparilla 2 announced for March
The celebrations will include another set of parades and nightly events, with no plans on specific changes from the original Gasparilla. It will be all of the same things from the original Gasparilla, just again in March.
Read MorePirates angry over Gasparilla appropriation
A group of Gulf Coast pirates have officially filed a complaint with the state department over claims that Gasparilla is offensive to native pirate culture and the Tampa holiday is exploitative and appropriating their culture. “First of all, beads have nothing to do with Pirates,” said Long John Turquoise, a pirate attached to the class…
Read MoreYou can turn in your Gasparilla beads for a free lap dance
A new promotion by Teasers Strip Club aims to get patrons to stop tossing Gasparilla beads in to the Hillsborough River by letting folks exchange them for a free lap dance. “We love the sea animals, especially the manatees,” said local stripper Nate Roscoe. “I’m the only person the promotion is good for, I’m a…
Read MoreBootleg Gasparilla event names grand marshal
Larry Kippers of Tampa Heights, known as “That guy that walks around picking up dog poop even though he doesn’t own a dog” will serve as the grand marshal for the 2020 Totally Not Affiliated With Gasparilla Boost Mobile Pirate Festival. “Each year, Ye Mystic Krewe of the Sunoco Station at the corner of Nebraska…
Read MoreTPD arrest thousands of parents for letting children drink at Gasparilla Children’s Parade
In what was supposed to be a nice booze-free afternoon with bead throwing and lollygagging, has turned in to a scene of adorable drunken display. Kids as young as four-years-old were given bottles of alcohol by their parents to, “Enjoy the parade more,” said TPD spokeperson Miuers Pish, “I saw parents handing their kids baby…
Read MoreMan missing since Gasparilla found alive in Port-O-John
Gulfport Port-O-John Center – Pinellas County – Monday, 2.25.2019 Missing USF student and Gasparilla celebrant, Brandon Chisney, has been found safe and sound in a portable toilet at an arts festival in nearby Gulfport. “I had a tent at the festival, displaying my various pieces featuring stuffed sea birds nailed to driftwood”, says the man…
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