Posts Tagged ‘Jane Castor Mayor’
Joe Redner offers to assist Tampa re-branding campaign
The City of Tampa is launching a new re-branding campaign which will capitalize on the recent success of the Buccaneers and Lightning, and local entrepreneur/nightclub owner Joe Redner wants to help. “We’re going to post signs along major roads at the city limits that say ‘Welcome to Tampa: The REAL Titletown’”, said Mayor Jane Castor.…
Read MoreSt. Pete man believes Lightning lost last night on purpose
“If there’s one thing we’ve learned over the last few years it’s that every so-called ‘conspiracy theory’ is not only valid but likely.”
Read MoreJane Castor is the one-woman show behind the City of Tampa’s hellishly paced firework show
Jane Castor was a one woman show last night at Tampa’s “Boom By the Bay” Fourth of July firework show. The mayor manned the Hillsborough River barge all on her own. All the pyrotechnic folks were said to have “called off because they wanted to watch the show.” The City of Tampa’s firework spectacular started…
Read MoreTampa Bay Vipers caught impersonating Toronto Raptors
The currently dormant XFL’s Tampa Bay Vipers have been caught impersonating the NBA’s Toronto Raptors, in an elaborate scheme to commit fraud and get some workout time for the players. NBA Commissioner Adam Silver made the discovery when he removed what turned out to be a Pascal Siakam mask from the head of a man…
Read MoreTampa to monetize wrong-way drivers
In an effort to do SOMETHING about Tampa’s chronic problem with people driving in the wrong direction down one-way streets and interstate highways, the city has announced that it will attempt to exploit the situation in order to generate revenue. “Obviously, our preference would be for it not to happen at all”, said Tampa Mayor…
Read MoreTampa Officially Renames Cuban Sandwich ‘The Tom Brady Meat Sandwich’
Following a decisive victory at Sunday’s Super Bowl, Tampa Mayor Jane Castor announced that the famous Tampa Cuban Sandwich will officially be named ‘The Tom Brady Meat Sandwich’. “We want to commemorate this momentous occasion by making some changes to the Cuban Sandwich,” said Mayor Castor during a press conference at Café Hey, a small…
Read MoreSpecial Gasparilla event scheduled
Inspired by New Orleans residents who have taken to decorating their homes like parade floats since traditional annual Mardi Gras festivities aren’t taking place, the City of Tampa is creating a special event to fill the void created by the postponement of Gasparilla. “Let’s face it; Gasparilla holds a special place in so many people’s…
Read MoreTampa Bay welcomes Toronto Raptors in ongoing effort to win some kind of championship in every sport
For the first time in history, Tampa Bay will be the home, at least temporarily, to an NBA franchise this season, due to travel restrictions stemming from the Covid-19 pandemic put in place by the Canadian government. “Ultimately, the current public health situation facing Canadians, combined with the urgent need to determine where we will…
Read MoreCity of Tampa prepares for March events, keeping citizen safety in mind
“We want to keep people safe for sure, but we aren’t a bunch of little fucking bitches are we?”
Read MoreCastor spends most of first day as mayor fielding prank phone calls from former mayor Buckhorn
Tampa City Council – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 5.1.2019 Incoming Tampa Mayor Jane Castor spent most of her first day on the job responding to a series of prank phone calls from former mayor Bob Buckhorn. “‘Is your refrigerator running?’ That kind of thing,” Castor said when asked to describe the nature of the calls.…
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