Skip to content

REPORT: City’s efforts to fend off Taylor Swift have failed

Giant Taylor

Tampa City Emergency Officials have announced that in spite of their best efforts that they have been unable to contain Taylor Swift and that citizens should take necessary steps to save themselves because the city is in imminent danger. “We thought that we had her contained within Raymond James Stadium, the area’s biggest – and…

Read More

Taylor Swift Fires Jane Castor After Accepting Mayorship

In a stunning turn of events, the newly appointed Mayor for the City of Tampa has fired the democratically elected mayor. “When I asked Taylor Swift to be our mayor for a day, I thought it would a fun photoshoot opportunity,” said Castor as she cleaned out her desk. “The last thing I expected was…

Read More

Mayor Castor Video Game Announced for Playstation 5

Jane Game

As part of a new inclusive gaming agenda by Activision, the gaming studio behind the popular Call of Duty franchise has announced a new video game based on the life of Tampa Mayor Jane Castor. “I have been shot at,” said Mayor Castor who previously served as the chief of police for the City of…

Read More

Mayor Castor bans golf carts for all city employees

Golf Carts

As the City of Tampa begins to search for a new chief of police in the wake of former chief Mary O’Connor’s resignation, Mayor Jane Castor is adding a stringent new guideline applying to all city employees. “No more golf carts,” she said. “No owning them, no riding in them, using them to play golf.…

Read More

Mayor Castor attends therapy session with Tampa City Council

Therapy

Following a recent series of unpleasant confrontations between Tampa Mayor Jane Castor and members of the Tampa City Council, all parties involved have agreed to seek therapy in order to understand, and hopefully resolve, their differences. “It’s what the city needs and deserves, a leadership with a united front that communicates effectively and resolves internal…

Read More

Tampa Police Department announces plan to choose new chief

Tampa's Got Cops

Following Monday’s announcement that Tampa Police Chief Brian Dugan is retiring effective September 10th, the department is moving forward with plans to appoint someone new to that position. “It’s a serious job, with a lot of very important responsibilities, especially these days”, said Tampa Mayor Jane Castor. “But there’s no reason why we can’t have…

Read More