Posts Tagged ‘Jane Castor’
Special Gasparilla event scheduled
Inspired by New Orleans residents who have taken to decorating their homes like parade floats since traditional annual Mardi Gras festivities aren’t taking place, the City of Tampa is creating a special event to fill the void created by the postponement of Gasparilla. “Let’s face it; Gasparilla holds a special place in so many people’s…
Read MoreTampa Bay welcomes Toronto Raptors in ongoing effort to win some kind of championship in every sport
For the first time in history, Tampa Bay will be the home, at least temporarily, to an NBA franchise this season, due to travel restrictions stemming from the Covid-19 pandemic put in place by the Canadian government. “Ultimately, the current public health situation facing Canadians, combined with the urgent need to determine where we will…
Read MoreTampa boy conquers bed-wetting problem, gets boat parade
8-year-old Kyle Veeters of Tampa has finally overcome a severe nocturnal enuresis issue he’s been dealing with his whole life – until very recently. “We’re so proud of Kyle”, said his mother Beverly Veeters. “He was a big boy and went three nights in a row with no pee-pee accidents!” Kyle’s father Tim expressed relief…
Read MoreTampa Police Department launches ‘Open Cop’ night
Mayor Jane Castor appeared at a press conference held at Tampa Police Headquarters with Chief Brian Dugan early this morning to announce a new community initiative. “Everybody wants to criticize our law enforcement officers these days”, she said, “You think it’s so easy? Okay, then you get out there and try it.” With that she…
Read MoreCity of Tampa sells “Back The Blue” street mural
The highly controversial, pro-police, illegally painted “Back The Blue” street mural has been sold to a wealthy French art collector. Jean-Pierre Malbec delivered a personal check for $14 million to Mayor Jane Castor late yesterday afternoon. “Please, please, please. My friends call me JP”, he said, introducing himself to local media at a press conference…
Read MoreMayor Jane Castor Threatening Tampa Citizens with Spankings if they Don’t Comply with Mask Law
The Mayor of Tampa wants you to know you’re being really naughty. “If I catch you outside, not wearing a mask, your ass is going to pay for it,” said Mayor Jane Castor speaking directly to reporters outside of City Hall. “If you want to protect your fellow citizens, wear a mask. If you want…
Read MoreCity of Tampa prepares for March events, keeping citizen safety in mind
“We want to keep people safe for sure, but we aren’t a bunch of little fucking bitches are we?”
Read MoreJane Castor declares April 1st “Tampa News Force Day”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Castor said.
Read MoreCastor blames cold weather for bad mood
After numerous questions from local journalists badgering Mayor Castor as to why the collective feeling of the city has been so low recently, Castor had no choice but to answer as politically as possible.
Read MoreCastor and Bloomberg accidentally kiss at breakfast meeting
News of Tampa Mayor Jane Castor, and 2020 Presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg accidentally kissing when they met for a publicity breakfast last week broke this morning. “I saw it happen, he kissed her right on the lips.” Said Denver Enkmin, patron of the Diner when the event took place. “He was walking up to shake…
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