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Sacred Geometry just a bunch of gay numbers

Sacred Geometry

I went to check out all that sacred geometry bullsh*t that everybody is always talking about and it was just a bunch of stupid numbers. Who cares? So everything in life can be broken down mathematically and that’s where binary comes from, and all matter is just tiny particles floating around and colliding and this…

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Tampa man regrets ending year on sour note with boss

NYE

A full day after an unfortunate incident at his job, Ronald Robertson, a clerk at ClerkCo’s home office in downtown Tampa, was still feeling remorse to the point of being in a state of mild shock. “I just can’t believe it,” he said. “I had my shot and I blew it. There’s no excuse and…

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Man famous for cancelling people gets cancelled

Cancelled

Donovan Menendez “Canny” Cancelero, a 45-year-old dog breeder who rose to fame by publicly cancelling people on his Etsy page has been cancelled himself after word got out that he’s a necrophiliac of animals. “Donovan cancelled me for leaving an 8% tip on my Steak-N-Shake meal, so to get back at him I did a…

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Secret society member almost gets in trouble

Wealthy

A rookie TPD officer is making headlines after processing Jeremiah Rothsfather, a well known high-ranking member of a wealthy, elite, powerful, secret organization. “What a rookie idiot, he had no clue!” Laughed officer Perry Ramirez, partner of the rookie officer who has asked to remain unnamed due to impending doom. “He’s going to be whacked…

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