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Hubble telescope takes job as grocery bagger at Publix

Hubble at Publix

Now that NASA’s new James Webb Space Telescope is operational and transmitting spectacular, incredibly detailed infrared light images of a nearby, young, star-forming region called NGC 3324 in the Carina Nebula, the Hubble Space Telescope has been rendered basically obsolete. “Yeah, I guess they don’t need good ol’ Hub anymore,” said the Hubble with a…

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Seffner couple wins free tickets to space

Astornots

Joe-Jack and Glucinda Porkrind of Seffner have won free tickets to travel to space via Virgin Galactic. “We prefer Plant City Heights, if you don’t mind”, said Joe-Jack. “Seffner ain’t too classy.” “We gone be asternots!”, said Glucinda. “We want to thank Mr. Bransing for this opportunity.” “Yeah, we’re big ass fans of his town…

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Morgan & Morgan expands marketing focus

Morgan & Virgin

Tampa Bay’s most prominent bus bench lawyer John Morgan has announced that his firm, Morgan & Morgan, has signed an exclusive sponsorship deal with Virgin Galactic, which will feature a banner ad prominently displayed on Unity 22, the fledgling space exploration/leisure service’s ship. “We are at the vanguard of a new industry determined to pioneer…

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Rick Scott to undertake unmanned space flight mission

Rick Scott in Space

In an effort to find out “just what the heck is going on up there”, Senator Rick Scott has announced that he will be launching himself into outer space. “Elon Musk is trying to get into space. So is Jeff Bezos. Why? What do they think is up there and how would it benefit them?…

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MacDill Air Force Base assigned to temporary duty in outer space

MacDill AFB in space

Tampa’s MacDill Air Force Base, home of the 6th Air Refueling Wing, has been attached temporarily to the United States Space Force and is currently orbiting 254 miles above the Earth. Senior Airman (SrA) Bowie Shanman of the 6th Air Refueling Wing Public Affairs Office said, “Since we don’t have any Raymond James Stadium flyovers…

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