Posts Tagged ‘Pasco County’
Agency you’ve probably never heard of that never did anything calls it quits
The Tampa Bay Area Regional Transit Authority (TBARTA), the transit authority that oversees regional transportation needs in Hernando, Hillsborough, Manatee, Pasco and Pinellas counties has voted unanimously to dissolve the organization. “Fuck it,” said TBARTA Chairman Cliff Manuel Jr. “We out.” The agency, started by the state in 2007 but not having received funding from…
Read MoreGrady Judd takes side gig delivering pizza
Pasco County Sheriff Grady Judd has taken on a part-time job as a delivery person for the newly opened Jerry’s Pizza on 19 in New Port Richey. “After Andrew Tate and his brother were arrested in Romania when he released a video of himself enjoying some Jerry’s Pizza in response to a battle with a…
Read MoreJudge: Pasco County “Move Over” Law Also Applies to Keith’s Slip ‘N Slide
If you’ve driven down US-19 in New Port Richey this past summer, you’ve likely noticed the bright yellow object in the left turn lane by the Publix. The long, slick plastic tarp is actually a homemade Slip ‘N Slide which belongs to Keith Bolling, resident of the trailer park across the street. Some citizens deemed…
Read MorePasco County Elementary School On Lockdown After CRT Education Threat
This morning, police responded to an anonymous call that a teacher may have been involved in teaching children about critical race theory. The situation resulted in an hours-long lockdown and parents being notified of the potential risk to their children. As police setup a perimeter, parents looked on in terror at the possibility that their…
Read MoreThis week’s public school lunch menus
As a public service to the millions of parents to school-age children in the Tampa Bay region who read our site every single day, Tampa News Force proudly presents what the kids will be eating for lunch at school this week. You know, for planning purposes. Enjoy! CITRUS COUNTY Monday, October 3: Tater Thots Tuesday,…
Read MoreSting operation fails to catch giant African snails
An undercover sting operation designed to apprehend giant African snails who have recently invaded Pasco County has been called off due to a failure to catch any suspects Sheriff Chris Nocco announced yesterday. “They may be slow-moving but they’re slippery and slimy,” he said. “We baited them with the sexiest underage pornography we could find,…
Read MorePasco County court re-classifies popcorn as lethal weapon
In the surprising acquittal of accused murderer Curtis Reeves late Friday, a Pasco County court has ruled that having popcorn thrown at you justifies killing someone under Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” statute. “What we’d been led to believe all this time was a delicious snack to munch on during movies is actually a deadly weapon,”…
Read MoreGulf of Mexico getting kinda sick of y’all dumping mass quantities of toxic-ass shit in it
The Gulf of Mexico, the ocean basin largely surrounded by the North American continent off the west coast of Florida and serving as the westernmost border of the Tampa Bay region, is losing patience with the seemingly-normalized practice of dumping poisonous waste products into it. “I mean, damn, you know?” said the marginal sea of…
Read MoreFlorida legislature takes steps to make roads more dangerous
SB 1194 allows Florida drivers to use hazard lights on roads with speed limits at or above 55 mph when the conditions create “extremely low visibility.” Seriously. Not a joke.
Read More“Honest” Car Dealer in Pasco Cheats on Wife with Inflatable Green Tube Man
The owner of Honest Jim’s Automotive, Keith “Honest Jim” Turlingham, recently found himself embroiled in a sex scandal. Reports have been received that Turlingham has been in a months-long affair with an employee at his dealership – an eight foot tall inflatable green tube man that the staff has taken to calling “Murray”. “Yeah, Keith…
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