Posts Tagged ‘Plant City’
Strawberry Festival books act for people who hate music
Are you going to this show?
Read MorePlant City man can’t wait to see who wants to go out with him
Devin Fishwith, a single man from Plant City who is not very good at attending concerts, is very excited about impressing a woman with the great tickets he has for an upcoming show. “Man, I can’t wait to see who’s going to be coming with me to this one,” he said. “I’ll tell you that…
Read MoreTop 5 Places In Tampa Bay To Be Buried Alive
For many people, being buried alive is their most terrifying nightmare, a fate worse than death that eventually results in death. We wouldn’t wish that on anyone, just like how no one would wish it on themselves. But hey, it could happen to any of us and if it did, wouldn’t it be a good…
Read MoreTop 5 Tampa Bay Swingers Clubs
Everyone knows that Tampa Bay is an adult entertainment wonderland. From the many world infamous “gentlemen’s clubs” to the self-storage facilities used for shooting low-budget pornography to whatever the hell is going on in Drew Park (home of Thee Love Shack, Fantasylands I and II, various auto repair shops and daycare centers among other random…
Read MoreSeffner couple wins free tickets to space
Joe-Jack and Glucinda Porkrind of Seffner have won free tickets to travel to space via Virgin Galactic. “We prefer Plant City Heights, if you don’t mind”, said Joe-Jack. “Seffner ain’t too classy.” “We gone be asternots!”, said Glucinda. “We want to thank Mr. Bransing for this opportunity.” “Yeah, we’re big ass fans of his town…
Read MoreWuhan Lab Discovered in Tampa
A group of high school kids wandering around an abandoned building in Hillsborough County accidentally stumbled upon what experts believe is the Wuhan lab where Covid-19 originated from. “All the windows were broken and there was a lot of trash everywhere,” said Miguel Mercedes, a junior at Strawberry Crest High School in Plant City. “After…
Read MoreHomophobe misses Pride festivities
“Since I can remember, I’ve had a deep hatred for gay people and been committed to erasing them and their deviant ways”, he says. “Now that they’re actually gone, I’m kind of sad about it.”
Read MoreSeagulls spotted inland interpreted as sign of impending apocalypse
Plant City – Hillsborough County – Sunday 3.24.2019 A seagull spotted scavenging for food scraps in Plant City has caused a local church to declare that the end of the world is imminent. “Surely this is prophecy and the end is finally nigh,” says Anita Haymaker, a member of Plant City’s New Order of the…
Read MoreStrawberry farmer sad to find out he planted beans instead
Plant City – Tampa – Monday, 2.11.2019 After a long brutal winter that decimated much of his yield in 2017, Plant City farmer Phillip Retchers vowed to make it up by planting the largest strawberry harvest he could. “I had to do everything I could to make up that loss,” says Retchers. “It wasn’t until a…
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