Posts Tagged ‘Rays’
Rays fan cutouts want their seats back
The Rays are more popular than ever! ⚾
Read MoreRays decide to wrap up ‘23 season
Following a 4-0 win over the Detroit Tigers to open the 2023 Major League Baseball season, the Tampa Bay Rays have decided that they’re done for the year. “We had great pitching and defense, obviously. I mean, we shut them out,” said Rays manager Kevin Cash. “Plus, timely hitting with power. You really can’t ask…
Read MoreMLB installs Bitch Clock at Tropicana Field
Major League Baseball (MLB) is implementing a number of changes for the 2023 season, including rule changes, larger bases and a clock that will limit time taken between pitches. One of these changes will be specific to Tampa Bay Rays games at Tropicana Field. In order to facilitate complaints about the much-maligned domed home stadium…
Read MoreFans file lawsuit against Bucs, Lightning, Rays and Rowdies for false advertising
A pair of Tampa Bay sports fans have filed a $6 billion class-action lawsuit against the Buccaneers, Lightning, Rays, Rowdies, Major League Baseball, the National Football League, the National Hockey League and the USL Championship league, due to the fact that none of the teams listed actually play their home games in the body of…
Read MoreDumb-ass idea dies deservedly
The Tampa Bay Rays proposal to share the financially beleaguered Major League Baseball (MLB) franchise with the city of Montreal, a concept the organization has been committed to for years, has been officially squashed by Major League Baseball’s executive council. “We didn’t step in sooner because we had no idea that this was something being…
Read MoreRed Tide Raises Rays
Following the Rays clinching the American League East Division for the second consecutive season while compiling the best regular season record in the franchise’s 23-year history, with 100 wins for the first time, many are wondering how such a thing could possibly happen, considering that the team was thought to be significantly weaker after losing…
Read MoreRays sign Kevin Kiermaier’s eyes to long-term deal
The Tampa Bay Rays have signed the dreamy blue eyes of veteran outfielder Kevin Kiermaier to a contract that will keep his beguiling peepers with the Rays organization through 2071, 48 years after his current contract to play baseball expires. “Kevin has been an integral part of our success over the years and we hope…
Read MoreMan Wearing Rays Hat Surprised to Learn They Are Doing Well
While out getting drunk for his best friend’s birthday, a Tampa man was recently surprised to learn that the Tampa Bay Rays are doing well this season. “Honestly I don’t even know how I ended up owning this hat,” said Fabio Sukiyo, a 32-year-old man from Seffner. “I haven’t watched baseball in over 10 years,…
Read MoreRays outfielder offends certain Rays fans
Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Brett Phillips on and off-field antics have rankled a segment of loyal fans. “He’s obviously enjoying himself, just having the time of his life. And it’s all the time,” said longtime fan Hub Shitler of St. Petersburg. “That’s downright disrespectful to those of us who have made a tradition of being…
Read MoreRays begin 2021 season with fewer excuses for fans to dislike them
The Tampa Bay Rays begin the 2021 season tomorrow with an afternoon game in Miami against the Marlins, coming off a successful 2020 campaign that has made it more difficult for their fans to find things to complain about. “I’ve been bitching about the Rays since they announced the original team name of ‘Devil Rays’…
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