Skip to content

Rick Scott observes National Donut Day

Rick Scott and so many donuts

U.S. Senator and former Governor of Florida Rick Scott took time out from his busy daily agenda of pandering to his base by constantly Tweeting his disdain for President Joe Biden to pander to his base about his love for donuts on National Donut Day 2021 earlier today. As his loyal followers ignored the fact…

Read More

Rick Scott handing out more ‘awards’

Award

Following last week’s spectacularly successful presentation of the National Republican Senatorial Committee’s inaugural “Champion for Freedom” award by Senator Rick Scott to former President Donald Trump, Scott is now handing out more new, fake, made-up achievement tokens in an effort to make people not be mad at him. “Okay, I resent your implications, you lousy…

Read More

Rick Scott will sign your “Delta Farce” DVD for $40

Rick Scott signing

In an effort to stand up to the imaginary trend known as “cancel culture” that is currently panicking many conservatives, Rick Scott announced that he will be autographing DVD copies of the 2007 comedy “Delta Farce”, starring Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and DJ Qualls. “Rick Scott here. Right now, I’m ping to try…

Read More

Rick Scott dismisses Tampa Bay pharmacy scammers as “amateurs”

Rick Scott and his disciples

Five Tampa Bay men have pled guilty in what federal prosecutors are calling the biggest healthcare fraud case in history. Court records show that Larry Everett Smith, Scott Roix, Mihir Taneja, Maikel Bolos and Arun Kapoor submitted $931,356, 936 in bogus prescription bills to giant pharmacies including, CVS Caremark, Optum and others with help from…

Read More

NRSC Selects Rick Scott to Make US Senate More Racist

Rick Scott YouTube

After Republicans lost the US Senate majority, the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) selected Florida Senator and Slender Man impersonator, Rick Scott, as their new Chairman.   “As you may have heard, I have just now taken over as the Chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee,” said Scott in a video message he released on…

Read More

DeSantis wins no-blink challenge on technicality

No Blink Challenge

The latest skirmish between Florida senator and former governor Rick Scott and his successor Ron DeSantis has culminated in a skills contest that was won by DeSantis, due to Scott being disqualified. The two men have a history of verbally sniping at one another in the press over issues ranging from the opening of the…

Read More

Ron DeSantis sends get well wishes to Rick Scott

Get Well Rick

Following the announcement that Senator Rick Scott has tested positive for having Covid-19, Florida Governor has sent his predecessor a hand-written get well card. “It’s no secret that Rick and I have had our differences,” said DeSantis. “But President Trump is always reminding me that he’s a colleague and a good fellow Republican, so I…

Read More

Rick Scott to open boys preparatory academy in St. Pete

School of Rick

Senator Rick Scott announced his plan to open the first of what he hopes will be a statewide chain of prep schools for boys in St. Petersburg. “It’ll be called the School of Rick and the mission will be to teach boys to be men,” says the former governor of Florida. “I mean, obviously boys…

Read More