Posts Tagged ‘Senator Rick Scott’
Rick Scott will sign your “Delta Farce” DVD for $40
In an effort to stand up to the imaginary trend known as “cancel culture” that is currently panicking many conservatives, Rick Scott announced that he will be autographing DVD copies of the 2007 comedy “Delta Farce”, starring Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and DJ Qualls. “Rick Scott here. Right now, I’m ping to try…
Read MoreRick Scott dismisses Tampa Bay pharmacy scammers as “amateurs”
Five Tampa Bay men have pled guilty in what federal prosecutors are calling the biggest healthcare fraud case in history. Court records show that Larry Everett Smith, Scott Roix, M.T., Maikel Bolos and Arun Kapoor submitted $931,356, 936 in bogus prescription bills to giant pharmacies including, CVS Caremark, Optum and others with help from telemarketing…
Read MoreNRSC Selects Rick Scott to Make US Senate More Racist
After Republicans lost the US Senate majority, the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) selected Florida Senator and Slender Man impersonator, Rick Scott, as their new Chairman. “As you may have heard, I have just now taken over as the Chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee,” said Scott in a video message he released on…
Read MoreDeSantis wins no-blink challenge on technicality
The latest skirmish between Florida senator and former governor Rick Scott and his successor Ron DeSantis has culminated in a skills contest that was won by DeSantis, due to Scott being disqualified. The two men have a history of verbally sniping at one another in the press over issues ranging from the opening of the…
Read MoreRick Scott Gives His Two Weeks Notice, Leaving Senate
Citing the passage of a socialist inspired bill that will provide poor Americans assistance during the current crisis, Florida Senator Rick Scott has put in his two weeks notice and is leaving the U.S. Senate. “I can’t in good conscious support the communist socialist agenda being touted by President Donald Trump,” said Scott, who made…
Read MoreWhat would Rick Scott look like with hair?
If you search on Google for pictures of “Young Rick Scott” you will find no evidence that this Florida Senator existed before the year 2010. There are 99 other Senators in the United States Government. Each one of these elected officials has some sort of picture of them online when they were younger. We at…
Read MoreRick Scott Voted Sexiest Politician of 2019 at C-SPAN Awards
In a landslide victory which many are calling a pay-to-play contest, Florida Senator Rick Scott was declared the ‘Sexiest Politician’ at this year’s C-SPAN Awards. “It was an honor to be nominated, and an even bigger honor to win,” said Scott while accepting the award, speaking mostly to a crowd of aides for front runners…
Read MoreRick Scott Prays for Hurricane to Drown all the Poor People
Florida Senator Rick Scott spent much of the past few days praying for the upcoming Hurricane Dorian to gather enough strength and drown every poor person in its path. “As governor of Florida, I made sure every poor person worked even harder than they had to if they wanted the dollars,” said Senator Scott, still…
Read MoreRick Scott Finds Happiness Outside of Wealth
Rick Scott Tampa Office – Hillsborough County – Friday, 7.26.19 After a recent hard knock to the head, Senator Rick Scott has decided there is more to life than having immeasurable wealth. “I found happiness through defrauding taxpayers with a Medicaid scam that made me a millionaire,” said Scott who used his fraud money to…
Read MoreRick Scott Successfully Orders Burrito in Spanish at Chipotle
USF-Area Chiptole – Hillsborough County – Sunday, 7.7.19 In an effort to connect with young hispanic voters, Senator Rick Scott showed off his Spanish speaking ability at the University of South Florida-area Chipotle during his, “Let’s Work But Not Be Paid Enough to Live” voter engagement tour. Dozens of supporters crowded the popular Chipotle location…
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