Posts Tagged ‘st petersburg’
St. Pete woman calls cops on mating manatees
Should she be commended for staying vigilant?
Read MoreSt. Pete man becomes Ally to meet chicks
Danny Wolffer, a heterosexual, cisgender man from St. Petersburg has found himself deeply moved by Pride Month this year and as a result, is declaring that he is an Ally, a person who supports equal rights, gender equality, and LGBTQ social movements. “Look, women love gay guys, right? Everybody knows that,” he said. “Well, look…
Read MoreTampa man attends magic show on purpose
Michael Manda of Tampa recently went to a magic show in St. Petersburg with the full intention of doing exactly that. “Of course I did,” he said. “I love magic so, so much!” He was driving through St. Pete, taking a sightseeing tour with his wife and mother-in-law when he came across Zubrick Magic Theatre…
Read MoreSt. Pete woman dating Leo!
Hollywood super duper star Leonardo DiCaprio, stung by recent criticism of his tendency to date much younger women, has found himself a new boo thang in 87-year-old Estelle Gardenschwartz of St. Petersburg! “Yeah, I’m sick of all that shit,” he said. “So this ought to shut people up.” “Because this chick is old!” he added…
Read MoreMan regales local bar patrons with crazy story: “I could have beaten DeSantis”
A stranger wandered into a bar in St. Petersburg last night and proceeded to entertain patrons with a wild tall tale. “I don’t know who that dude is, but he’s hilarious,” said Todd Filbert, who happened to be among the small crowd at Stankbooty’s Taproom on Central Avenue. “He was really telling some whoppers!” The…
Read MoreLargo couple requests emergency name change for baby
On the eve of the senate runoff election between Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock in Georgia, Don and Sylvia Plehh of Largo have filed an emergency request with the Pinellas County court system to change their baby Herschel’s name immediately. “When he was born 10 months ago, we thought ‘Herschel’ was a great name,” said…
Read MoreSt. Pete soccer fan processes USMNT World Cup loss
Spencer Hayden, a huge soccer fan from St. Petersburg found himself going through a range of emotions at Ferg’s Spots Bar during yesterday’s World Cup match between the United States Men’s National Team and the Netherlands. “It’s good to see the United States finally acknowledging the global superiority of futbol, or ‘soccer’, as most boorish…
Read MoreSt. Pete seafood restaurant lists all menu items at “flea market price”
Robert “Bob” Smidsworth, owner and manager of Scuttler’s Seafood & Good Times Crabateria in St. Peterburg has announced that from now on, all the entrees on their menu will be listed as ‘flea market price.’ “Listing items at ‘market price’ is a fairly common practice at seafood restaurants,” he said. “It means the price of…
Read MoreBay Area leaders relieved… but maybe a little disappointed
As Hurricane Ian shifted east and south, Tampa Bay Area civic leaders expressed relief, advice for residents to remain vigilant and a little bit of disappointment. “Obviously we’re glad that once again it appears we have avoided the worst of what is a catastrophic storm, but our thoughts and prayers go out to the people…
Read MoreSt. Pete man really doesn’t want to do hurricane prep
Eddie “Earl” Scrugglins of St. Petersburg doesn’t want to clean up his yard in advance of Hurricane Ian making landfall somewhere on the west coast of Florida either later today or early tomorrow, because he doesn’t think he should have to. “That’s exactly right; I don’t think I should have to,” he said. “All this…
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